SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 20

Man to very beautiful air hostess:- "What's your name?"

Air hostess:- "Eva Benz.."

Man :- "Lovely name...any relation to Mercedes Benz?"

Air hostess:- (smiling) "maintenance cost is same"

========================================================

***Superb Story***

Rakesh was worried that his wife was having an hearing problem and he thought she might need a  hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.


"Here's what you do,"
said the Doctor,
"stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.
If not, go to 30 feet,
then 20 feet,
and so on until you get a response.."


That evening,
his wife was in the kitchen cooking dinner,
and Rakesh thought of testing the same.
He says to himself,
"I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.?"

Then in a normal tone he asks,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"


No response....


So he moves closer to the kitchen,
about 30 feet from his wife and repeats,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"


Still No response...


Next he moves to the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets No response...


So, he walks up to the kitchen door,
about 10 feet away.
"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is No response....

So he walks right up behind her,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"


(You'll Love this)




"For God's sake Rakesh,
its  the FIFTH time I am telling you,
its 'AALOO PARATHA'.!"

========================================================

An unemployed engineer graduate was looking out for a suitable job in his stream.
He attended several exams and many personal interviews, only to be rejected.
.
.
.
.
Being fed up after so many months of his job hunt, he decided to get into any job that
can satisfy his food and daily needs.
.
.
.
.
.
He visited a circus group and asked for a job.
But the owner said that there wasn't any job for his education level. Also he said that there is a vacancy to
act as a monkey and perform funny actions. The unemployed youth accepted the offer since he
can at least afford his daily food.
.
.
.
.
.
So he dressed up as a monkey and entertained the audience. One day while he was performing the
monkey skills, he accidentally fell into the lion's ring.
.
.
.
.
Everyone was shocked as the monkey fell into lion's ring. No one knew that he was a man
dressed up as a monkey. The man himself was dreadful and feared for his life.
He felt pity for himself as he going to be a victim of unemployment.
.
.
The lion came closer to him but didn't attack. He was surprised. The lion whispered,
"Abe Gupta.....ghabra mat...!! Main hun tera senior, Vinod Sharma.... 1999 batch... computer science.."

========================================================

Wife takes very ill husband to doctor.

Doc says to wife: Give him healthy breakfast daily, be pleasant and in gud mood. Cook tasty dinner and don't discuss ur problems with him. Stop watching tv shows and facebook. Dont demand new jewels. If u can do this for one year ur husband will be ok.

On the way to home, husband asks wife: What did doctor say?


Wife: . . . . . uliyodu kastha antha andru....

========================================================

One day teacher asked a question from students what is a diff between Senior and Junior.
All started thinking . Suddenly santa raises his hand , teacher said  answer .
Santa replied person who stays near the sea is SENIOR(sea near )
and person who stays near zoo is JUNIOR (ZOO NEAR)

Teacher fainted
Santa rocks teacher shocked


====================================================================

After Accident , a Driver1 Angrily said :- I showed you the Headlights and told u let me go first ...............

Driver2 :- I also started the Wipers and said No, No, No...

Driver1 fainted !!!

====================================================================

Panta and Banta, happen to be lost in a desert. After days of walking without any water or food, they noticed a Mosque.

Panta said: "I will walk in saying that my name is Mohamed, and you say that your name is Ahmed, this way we'll get some food! I have done this before too.we can easily fool them.  Deal ?"

Banta: "No, I am a Hindu Nationalist.I won't change my name I will stick with my name."They walked in.

Maulavi asked who are you?

Panta : "My name is Mohamed."

Banta: "I'm Banta."

Maulavi:  "Bantaji ko pani dijiye aur khana khilayiye

aur Mohamed Miya,  Ramazan Mubarak "

====================================================================


A Priest dies and is waiting in line at heavens gate.

Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.

God to the guy : Who r u ?

Guy : I am Udupi-Mangalore Express Bus driver.

God : Take this gold robe and enter kingdom of heaven.

God to the Priest : Who r u ?

Priest : I am a priest and spent 40yrs preaching good to people.

God : Take this cotton robe and enter heaven.

Priest : God, how come that foul mouthed, rash driver gets a gold and I spent all my life preaching good get cotton.

God : Results, my son, results.

While you preached, people slept, when he drove, people really prayed...

☝“Its Performance, not Position that Counts !!”


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Just read it..It's awesome attitude

A Little boy went to a telephone booth which   was at the cash counter of a store and dialed a number. The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

Boy: “Madam, can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?”

Woman: (at the other end of the phone line) “I already have someone to cut my lawn.”

Boy: “Madam, I will cut your lawn for half the price than the person who cuts your lawn now.”

Woman: “I’m very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting the lawn.”

Boy: (with more perseverance) “Madam, I’ll even sweep the floor and the stairs of your house for free.”

Woman: “No, thank you.”

With a smile on his face, the little boy put the receiver down. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store-owner: “Son….I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.”

Boy: “No thanks.”

Store-owner: “But you were really pleading for one.”

Boy: “No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!”

This is called "Self-Appraisal”

Give your best and the world comes to you !!!

====================================================================

Neil Armstrong, he is the 1st person to set his foot in moon.

But, do you know who was supposed to be the 1st person?  Many don't know...

His name is Edwin C Aldarin...
He was the pilot for the Apollo mission. He was working for the American Airforce. Moreover he had experience of space walking, hence selected as the pilot.

Neil Armstrong worked for the American Navy. He was selected for his courage as co-pilot.

When the Apollo mission landed on moon, they received a command from NASA, "pilot first".

But Aldarin was hesitant, "what will happen", "will I get sucked in or will I burn out", etc. The hesitation was not for hours, but few seconds.

In the meantime, NASA sent the next command, "co-pilot next".

Within next second, Neil Armstrong put his foot on the moon and became part of world history.

World history was changed in 1 second... Though Aldarin had the qualification and talent, because of hesitation, he is not recognised by many people.

The world remembers only person who comes first...
This is a good example of how people lose out because of hesitation and fear. Whenever you see the moon, remember this, a moments hesitation can stop us from our greatest victory.

We all have great potential in us, the only thing that stops us from achieving what we are supposed to achieve is our hesitation, fear and shyness.

Many people are shy to ask, shy to appreciate others, and some are shy to share this message. If we fail to do the right things, we will most likely do the wrong things.

Hence share the good messages. Avoid hesitation

====================================================================

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Beet Root Health benefits - known as natural Viagra !!


Beet Root Health benefits
Of the vegetables we consume , Beet Root is one such root vegetable which we get at lesser price and has many nutrients which is beneficial to our body health. Used in curries , ice creams , sambars , Halwa , Juice , Jellies etc it has many benefits preventing many diseases. 100gm of beet root contains - 10 gm of carbohydrate , 2gm protein , 18gm of fat , 4gm of vitamin C , Iron, Magnesium, Potassium, Sodium and other vital components.  Some of the benefits of regular use of Beet Root -

  1. 500gm of Beet root juice is beneficial for Blood pressure and helps in keeping it steady for 6 hours . Its Nitrate ingredients help is easy flow of blood through veins.
  2. Regular use is useful for pregnants which aids in good growth of the child.
  3. Helps in reducing Osteoporosis disease which usually troubles bones and teeth.
  4. Its also a strength drink for those who exercise. Beet root juice mixed with little sugar and lemon for taste when taken reduces tiredness , stress and fills in good energy for sport activities. With just one glass of beet root juice , one may travel up to 4 kms without much tiredness.
  5. For digestion and Blood related disorders similar to Garlic , Beet root too is beneficial due to its Nitrate content which aids in Hemoglobin increase
  6. The Nitric acid and Boron contents it has triggers sex hormones. It aids in the expansion and easy flow of blood streams. Its also known as a Natural Viagra
  7. Those who are suffering from Anemia - regular use of Beet root mixed with Apple juice and Honey helps in good flow of blood
  8. Regular use of Beet root helps in reducing Breast cancer by 12.5% due to its Betacyanin  contents
  9. Helps in reducing pains related to excretory organs when taken along with Cucumber , Carrot in equal proportions
  10. Regular use of Beet root 3-4 times in a week helps in reducing Obesity , Heart related disorders , Gastric problems , Nerve strength . For Diabetics , its considered as controlled Insulin
  11. It supplies good amount of nutrients to the brain , helps in smooth flow if brain nerves . Also aids in good sleep
  12. One cup of beet root has 58 calories which does not increase one's weight , aids to shinning Hair and smooth Skin.
  13. To preserve the nutrient percentage in Beetroot , its recommended to boil it moderately - then store it in fridge and then consume

An article by Sri Ramakrishna

Kannada Shayari and other Shayari collections

In this post  , we share our collections of Kannada and few other language shayari which may include comedy , fun , love , humor , funny and any other category . You may also contribute to this post by sharing your shayaris to thinkbangalore@gmail.com or post under comments.

Read , share and Enjoy madi !!!

ಅವನು S.S.L.C. ಯಲ್ಲಿ  Rank ತಗೊಂಡ  ಕಾರಣ, ಅವನು ಪ್ರತಿಭಾವಂತ //ವ್ಹಾ ವ್ಹಾ//
ಅವನು S.S.L.C. ಯಲ್ಲಿ Rank ತಗೊಂಡ ಕಾರಣ, ಅವನು ಪ್ರತಿಭಾವಂತ //ವ್ಹಾ ವ್ಹಾ//
ಅವನು P.U.C. ನಲ್ಲಿ ಫೇಲ್ ಆದ ಕಾರಣ, ಅವಳು ಯಾರೋ ಪ್ರತಿಭಾ ಅಂತಾ!!!
Kannada Shayari  Enjoy madi

ಅವನು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದು ಇಷ್ಟೇ
I LOVE U ಗಾಯಿತ್ರಿ //ವ್ಹಾ ವ್ಹಾ//
ಅವನು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದು ಇಷ್ಟೇ,
I LOVE YOU ಗಾಯಿತ್ರಿ..
ಆಗಿದ್ದು ಇಷ್ಟೇ.. ಮುಖದ ಮೇಲೆ ಗಾಯ THREE!!

ಪ್ರೀತಿಸುವ ಮೊದಲು
ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಆಳ ನೋಡು.. //ವ್ಹಾ ವ್ಹಾ//
ಪ್ರೀತಿಸುವ ಮೊದಲು ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಆಳ ನೋಡು..
ನಂಬಿಕೆ ಬರದಿದ್ರೆ,
ಮುಂಗಾರು ಮಳೆ FILM ನೋಡು..

ನೀನು ನನ್ನ ಮನಸು ಕದ್ದೆ, ನಾನು ಸುಮ್ಮನಿದ್ದೆ
ನನ್ನ ಕನಸು ಕದ್ದೆ, ನಾನು ಸುಮ್ಮನಿದ್ದೆ
ನನ್ನ ನಿದ್ದೆ ಕದ್ದೆ, ಆಗಲೂ ನಾನು ಸುಮ್ಮನಿದ್ದೆ
ನೀನು ನನ್ನ ನಾಯಿಯ ಪ್ಲೇಟ್ ಕದ್ದೆ,
ನಾನು ಸುಮ್ಮನಿದ್ದರೂ ನಾಯಿ ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಬಿಡುವುದಿಲ್ಲ..
ಮರ್ಯಾದೆಯಿಂದ ತಂದುಕೊಡು...!!

ನುಡಿದರೆ, ಮುತ್ತಿನ ಹಾರದಂತಿರಬೇಕು //ವ್ಹಾ ವ್ಹಾ//
ನುಡಿದರೆ, ಮುತ್ತಿನ ಹಾರದಂತಿರಬೇಕು.
ಕುಡಿದರೆ, ಮನೆಯವರಿಗೆ ಅನುಮಾನ ಬಾರದಂತಿರಬೇಕು...

ಹೃದಯದ ಗಾಯಕ್ಕೆ ಇಲ್ಲಾ ಮುಲಾಮ್ //ವ್ಹಾ ವ್ಹಾ//
ಹೃದಯದ ಗಾಯಕ್ಕೆ ಇಲ್ಲಾ ಮುಲಾಮ್....
ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಮದುವೆ ಆಗಲಿಲ್ಲಾ
'ಅಬ್ದುಲ್ ಕಲಾಮ್'

ಶಿಲ್ಪಿ ಕಲ್ಲನ್ನು ಕೆತ್ತಿದರೆ ಕಲೆ /ವಾ..ವಾ../
ಶಿಲ್ಪಿ ಕಲ್ಲನ್ನು ಕೆತ್ತಿದರೆ ಕಲೆ.....
ಅದೇ ಕಲ್ಲಿನಿಂದ ಶಿಲ್ಪಿಯನ್ನು ಕೆತ್ತಿದರೆ, ಕೊಲೆ...../ವಾ..ವಾ.//

SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 19

Dad - Badi hokar kya karogi?

Daughter - Maa Banugi, Naukri Karungi, Padhai Karugi, Shaadi Karugi
Dad - Tu kuch bhi kar beti .. par thoda Sequence ka Dhyaan rakhna....."

============================================

शादी में दुल्हन का x-boyfriend भी आया था

दुल्हन का बाप:''आप कौन है.?

Boy :''जी मै सेमिफ़ाईनल में बाहर हो गया था फाइनल देखने आया हूँ

============================================
An Indian Software Engineer died at 45 n went to heaven..

He asked god why he was dead at such an early age..
God replied:

"Son according to the billable hours u filled in your time sheets u should be 92 by now "
============================================

Mom : Beta , Kya kar rahe ho
Beta : Pad raha hoon
Mom : Good . kya pad rahe ho
Beta : Apke hone wali bahu ki messages

============================================


Arz kiya hai...
Koi wada na kar..
koi irada na kar,
Kaam kar kar k khud ko aadha na kar..,
Wo dega utna hi jitna uska mood hai..,
Apni Organization se umeed
zyada na kar..

======================

Hubby: Call Ambulance, fast! I'm having a heart attack....
Wife took his mobile "Quick !! Tell me the password !! "
Hubby: Its okay, I'm feeling better now!!

======================

One of the BEST msg I have come across:Worth reading-

A group of friends visited their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned to complaints about

'STRESS' & 'TENSION' in Life.

Professor offered them Coffee & returned from kitchen with Coffee in different kinds of cups !!!

(Glass Cups, Crystal Cups, Shining Ones, Some Plain Looking, Some Ordinary & Some Expensive Ones......)

When all of them had a Cup in Hand,

the professor said:-

"If you noticed-

all the Nice Looking & Expensive Cups are taken up,

leaving behind the ordinary ones !!

Everyone of you wanted the Best CUPS,

&

that is the source of your STRESS & TENSION !!

What you really wanted was

"Coffee", not the "Cup" !

But you still went for the Best Cup.

If Life is Coffee ;

Then Jobs, Money, Status & Love etc. are the Cups !!!

They are just TOOLS to hold and contain Life.

Please Don't Let the CUPS Drive you !!

Enjoy the COFFEE ......!!!
What is life ?
They say its from B to D...from Birthday to Death..But what's between B and D?
Its a  " C "  Choice ...
Our life is a matter of choices...
Live well and it will never go wrong....

============================================

Some years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco.

Mensa, is an international organization for people who have an IQ of 140 or higher.

Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch at a local cafe. When they sat down, one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper, and their pepper shaker was full of salt.

How could they swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly -- this was a job for Mensa minds.

The group debated the problem and presented ideas and finally, came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.

They then called the waitress over, ready to dazzle her with their solution.

"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker"

But before they could finish, the waitress interrupted & said.

"Oh -- sorry about that."

She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.

There was dead silence at the Mensa table.


For most of the problems there are simple solutions but it is our “Brilliant” minds that complicate every simple solution. Take a relook at life, you will find non issues mostly! And wherever there are issues there will be easy solutions.

==============================

A Girl ran away from home with her Boy friend.
 whole family was Depresed when Suddenly She came back after 3 Days.

 Dad: just get out!!!.  Don't say anything

 Mom: already you killed us. Now why you came here.

 Brother: why are you irritating us.  Just get out

 Everyone just melted listening to her reply.

 Girl:   " i want Nokia charger ( chotta wala pin).."

 Moral: Nokia will give three days battery backup !

==============================
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SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 18


Mental Aptitude Test

Pretty Amazing The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 23 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fool cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I bet you, cannot resist passing it on

======================================

To,
      The Principal

Dear Sir,

Sub.: leave application for eye coming

I will  not come  as my  eyes have come. If I come with  my coming eyes then  your eyes  will come  & you will not come. But still if you  come with your  coming  eyes all office eyes  will come  & all  will not  come. So  I will  not come   and all  will  come.  I  will come  back  when  my  coming eyes  will  go & all will  come  without their eyes coming.

Yours  Sincerely


======================================

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!

The husband, typically unromantic, replied,

"I am in the toilet. Please advise"

========================================

बच्चा School का Admission Form भरते हुये .... पापा Mother Tongue मे Kya लिखु ?

पापा : लिख बेटा, Very Long & Out Of Control.

========================================

'Wife: Jab main gana gaati hon to aap bahar kyon chaly jaty hain??


Husband: Takay bahar waly ye na samjhen k main tumhara gala daba raha hon.'

========================================

Beautiful letter written by a father to his son
Please read till end . It's worth it .
Must send to your children

A letter to my beloved children :

Dear son / daughter

I am writing this to you because of 3 reasons

1. Life, fortune and mishaps are unpredictable, nobody knows how long he lives. Some words are better said early.

2. I am your father, and if I don't tell you these, no one else will.

 3. What is written is my own personal bitter experiences that perhaps could save you a lot of unnecessary heartaches. Remember the following as you go through life



 1. Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well, except your mother and I.
To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and ALSO you have to be cautious, because, everyone has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you, it does not mean he really likes you. You have to be careful, don't hastily regard him as a real friend.

2. No one is indispensable, nothing is in the world that you must possess.
Once you understand this idea, it would be easier for you to go through life when people around you don't want you anymore, or when you lose what/who you love most.

 3.Life is short.
When you waste your life today, tomorrow you would find that life is leaving you. The earlier you treasure your life, the better you enjoy life.

4.Love is but a transient feeling, and this feeling would fade with time and with one's mood. If your so called loved one leaves you, be patient, time will wash away your aches and sadness.
Don't over exaggerate the beauty and sweetness of love, and don't over exaggerate the sadness of falling out of love.

 5.A lot of successful people did not receive a good education, that does not mean that you can be successful by not studying hard! Whatever knowledge you gain is your weapon in life.
One can go from rags to riches, but one has to start from some rags!

 6.I do not expect you to financially support me when I am old, neither  would I financially support your whole life. My responsibility as a supporter ends when you are grown up. After that, you decide whether  you want to travel in a public transport or in your limousine, whether rich or poor.

7.You honour your words, but don't expect others to be so. You can be good to people, but don't expect people to be good to you. If you don't understand this, you would end up with unnecessary troubles.

 8. I have bought lotteries for umpteen years, but I could never strike any prize. That shows if you want to be rich, you have to work hard! There is no free lunch!

9. No matter how much time I have with you, let's treasure the time we have together. We do not know if we would meet again in our next life.

                Your Dad

===============================

Funny Car Extensions

FORD  -  For  Only  Rough  Drivers

HYUNDAI    -   Hope  You  Understand  Nothing  Drivable  And  Inexpensive

VOLVO    -  Very  Odd  Looking  Vehicular  Object

PORSCHE    -   Proof  Of  Rich  Spoilt  Children  Having  Everything

OPEL    -  Old  People  Enjoying  Life

TOYOTA   -  The  One  You  Only  Trust  Always

HONDA    -  Hanged  Over  Now  Driving  Away

BMW    -  Biggest  Money  Waste

AUDI    -   Automated  Unwanted  Debt  Invitation

Mercedes -  Maximum  Enthusiasm   Recurring  Cost  Ego  Developed  Eagerness to  Sell

FIAT    -  Failure  In Italian  Automotive  Technology

and the Grand Finale..

MARUTI    -  Made  According to  Roads  Users  Typically  Indian

and the Great Grand Finale..

TATA    -  TRY  Again  TRY  Again………..

===============================

Height of Misunderstandin­g !

Mr. Kapoor comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news… I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby!

The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Kapoor receives a telephone call from Reliance Energy because the electricity bill has not been paid.

" Am I speaking to Mrs. Kapoor? "

"Yes… speaking"

Reliance guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the Reliance guy.

"What are you saying? It's in your files… HOW ???"

" Yes ….. We have a system of finding out who's overdue "

" GOD !!!… This is too much…"

"Madam, I am sorry… I am just following orders… I have to inform that you are overdue.."

"I know that … let me talk to my husband about this tonight. He will speak to your company tomorrow.. "

That night, she tells her husband about the incident, and he, mad as a bull,rushes to Reliance office the next day morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts..

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at Reliance, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? And if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off.."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"Well… I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle !!!

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SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 17

“Attitude Matters"

Once a Bird asked a Bee: After constant hard-work, you prepare honey. But a
 man comes & steals it. Do you  not  feel  sad ?

Wonderful  reply  by  Bee: Never...  Because  only  thing  man  can  do  is  to steal  'my  honey'...  not  the  'art  of  making  honey'...
In  this  world,  anyone  can  copy  your  CREATIONS  but  no  one  can  copy  your  TALENT...........


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Terrible English by PT sir:

1) There is no wind in the football..
2) I talk, he talk, why you middle talk?.
3) You rotate the ground 4 times..
4) You go and understand the tree.
5) I'll give you clap on ur cheeks..
6) Bring your parents and your mother and especially your father.
7) Close the window airforce is coming.
8) I have two daughters and both are girls..
9) Stand in a straight circle..
10) Don't stand in front of my back
11) Why Haircut not cut..?
12) Don't make noise.. principle is rotating in the corridor
13) Why are you looking at the monkey outside the window when I’m here?
14) You talking bad habit
15) Give me a red pen of any colour.
16) Can i have some snow in my cold drink?
17) Pick the paper and fall into the dustbin.
18) Both of u stand together separately.
19) Keep quiet the principal just passed away!!
Dont laugh alone pass it....

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If you fail , never give up - because
FAIL = First Attempt In Learning
end is not the end , its in fact
END = Effort Never Dies
If you get No as answer , don't worry
NO = Next Opportunity
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Ek Maa Ke Liye
Woh Kaun sa Kaam Hai
Jo Beta kare tho Buraa
aur Damad kare tho Accha He ?
- Biwi Ki Gulami

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Some global opinions on marriages..

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
- Al Gore

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
- Mike Tyson

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
- Bill Clinton

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
- George W. Bush

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
- Michael Jordan

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Shaquille O'Neal

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..
- Kobe Bryant

You know what I did before I married?? Anything I wanted to.
- David Hasselhoff

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Alec Baldwin

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
- Barack Obama

When you are in love,
Wonders happen.

But once you get married,
You wonder, what happened.

An Excellent Line...
"Marriage is a beautiful forest where Brave Lions are killed by beautiful Deer's".

All husbands can enjoy

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Married men's brain is divided into 2 parts -
Right and Left
In right , nothing is left
In left , nothing is right

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Position of a Husband is like Split AC !!
No matter how loud he is outside , He is deisgned to remain
Silent , Cool and controlled by remote !

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Example of a smart doctor
Nurse: “Sir, Your Wife’s Phone”

Doctor: “What’s The Matter?”

Nurse: “She Wants To Kiss You”

Doctor: “I’m Busy, You Take Her Kiss & Give Me Later“

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Wife: sunoji circus dekhne chale???

Husband : No......... I m busy

Wife : Usme ek ladki ne bina kapdon ke sher pe sawari ki hai. ...!!!!!

Husband : bahut ziddi ho gayi ho....Har baat zidd karke manvati ho....
Chalo bahut din hue sher nahin dekha....!!!!!

Iske Aage ki kahaani...

Husband & wife phir circus dekhne gaye. husband ne sabse aage wali seat ki ticket bhi le li...
Lion show aaya aur chala gaya par bina kapadon ki ladki nahi aayi...Circus show khatam ho gaya...

Husband : Tumne toh kaha tha ki ek ladki bina kapdon ke aayegi?

Wife : Bina kapdo ke toh sher kaha tha, ladki nahi........

I swear you will read it again

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Click here for more such jokes collections

Bhagavad Gita mp3 kannada recitations - ISKCON

These are few sample Bhagavad Gita mp3 kannada recitations distributed by ISKCON on account of Gita Jayanthi - The International Society for Krishna Consciousness - which constantly works in propagating Shri Krishna's teachings .  Bhagavad Gita being one of the must experience teachings which describes the ultimate truth of -  life , before , after - fills in positive energy , helps in solving worldly problems and having a relaxed mind.

We are sharing and promoting these in this post for our readers. If you like these , please contribute and purchase much more devotional music visiting ISKCON temple at Rajajinagar Bangalore.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18

Click on the links to listen or download the music.
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