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SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 66


At a Wedding Reception the D.J. Announced.....

"Would all Married Men please Stand next to the One Person who has Made your Life Worth Living after Marriage?"
 
The Bartender was almost Crushed to Death.

*********

ಗುಂಡ ಸೂಪರ್ ಮಾರ್ಕೆಟ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಸೇಲ್ಸ್ ಹುಡುಗನಾಗಿ ಕೆಲಸಕ್ಕೆ ಸೇರಿಕೊಂಡ. 

ಮೊದಲ ದಿನ ಒಬ್ಬ ಹೆಂಗಸು ಬಂದು "ಮಿಕ್ಸ್ಡ್ ಜಾಮ್" ಕೇಳಿದಳು. ಗುಂಡ ಗಂಭೀರವಾಗಿ ಹೇಳಿದ "ಸ್ಟಾಕ್ ಖಾಲಿಯಾಗಿದೆ. ಇಲ್ಲ" ಅಂದ. ಆ ಹೆಂಗಸು ಮುಖ ಸಿಂಡರಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೊರಟುಹೋದಳು. 

ದೂರದಿಂದ ನೋಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಸೂಪರ್‌ವೈಸರ್ ಬಂದು ಹೇಳಿದ. "ಯಾರಾದರೂ ಹಾಗೆ ಕೇಳಿದಾಗ ಮುಖಕ್ಕೆ ಹೊಡೆದ ಹಾಗೆ ಹೇಳ್ಬಾರದು. ಮಿಕ್ಸ್ಡ್ ಜಾಮ್ ಇಲ್ಲ, ಆಪಲ್ ಜಾಮ್ ಇದೆ, ಏಪ್ರಿಕಾಟ್ ಜಾಮ್ ಇದೆ.. ಟ್ರೈ ಮಾಡಿ ನೋಡಿ ಮೇಡಂ ಅಂತ ಪೂಸಿ ಹೊಡೆಯಬೇಕು" ಅಂದ. "ಸರಿ ಸರ್. ಗೊತ್ತಾಯ್ತು" ಅಂದ ಗುಂಡ.

ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಹೊತ್ತಿಗೆ ಯಾರೋ ಹೆಂಗಸು ಬಂದು "ಎಕ್ಸ್‌ಕ್ಯೂಸ್ ಮೀ... ಟಾಯ್ಲೆಟ್ ಪೇಪರ್ ಇದೆಯಾ?" ಅಂದಳು.

ಗುಂಡ ಉತ್ತರಿಸಿದ:

"ಓ.. ವೆರಿ ಸಾರಿ ಮೇಡಂ, ಟಾಯ್ಲೆಟ್ ಪೇಪರ್ ಜಸ್ಟ್ ಖಾಲಿ ಆಯ್ತು.. ಹಾಂ... ಕಾರ್ಬನ್ ಪೇಪರ್ ಇದೆ, ಸ್ಯಾಂಡ್ ಪೇಪರ್ ಇದೆ... ಟ್ರೈ ಮಾಡಿ ನೋಡಿ ಹೇಳಿ ಮೇಡಂ.." ಅಂದ.


*********

Surrender To The Divine :

There is a beautiful story about the flute of Krishna.

We all know Krishna always holds a flute in his hand, there
is a great story behind it ...

Everyday Krishna would go in the garden and say to all the
plants, “I love you”.

The plants were very happy and responded saying “Krishna,
we love You too”.

One day Krishna rushed quickly into the garden very
alarmed.

He went to the bamboo plant and the bamboo plant asked,
“Krishna, what´s wrong?”

Krishna said “I have something to ask you, but it is very
difficult”.

The bamboo said “Tell me: if I can, I will give it to you”.

So Krishna said “I need your life. I need to cut you”.

The bamboo thought for a while and then said “You don´t
have any other choice. You don’t have any other way ?”

Krishna said, “No, no other way”.

And it said “OK” and gave himself up.

So Krishna cut the bamboo n made holes in it, and each
time, he carved the holes, the bamboo was crying in pain ...

Krishna made a beautiful flute out of it n this flute was with
him all the time.

24 hours a day, it was with Krishna. Even the Gopis were
jealous of the flute.

They said, “Look, Krishna is our Lord, but yet we get to
spend only some time with him.

He wakes up with you, He sleeps with you, all the time you
are with him”.

Gopis asked the bamboo, “Tell us your secret. What secret
do you have, that the Lord treasures you so much ?”

And the bamboo said “The secret is that, i gave myself up,
and he did whatever was right for me, in the process i had
to undergo a lot of pain.

And the Lord does whatever he wants with me, whenever he
wants with me and however he wants with me. I have just
become His instrument”.

So this is complete surrender: where God can do whatever
He wants with you, whenever He wants, as He wants.

Trust Him completely and have faith in Him and always
think you are in His hands ... what can go wrong ??

This is Samarpan or Surrender.

*********

🔰Life is a Visiting Card,
💃Wife is a Memory Card,
👨Husband is  A T M  card
👰girl  fnd is a  Debit  card
🙋Neighbour is  a  greeting  card
💁Sister-in-Law  is  a  Recharge  card
👪Mother  father  is  Pan  card
👦Brother-in-Law  is  a  " duplicate  CARD "
👫child  is  a   Identity  card
🚹🚹But Friends are "AADHAR" Card

*********

Useful for everywhere.
If u lose your mobile in India,  you can get it back.
Got an interesting fact to share.. 

Nowadays almost  e VBveryone  of us 
carry  latest expensive 
Mobile devices which always 
Fears that it may be stolen.

Each mobile carries a unique 
IMEI no. i.e. International Mobile Equipment Identity No which 
can be used to track your 
mobile anywhere in the world.

This is how it works!!

1. Dial *#06# from your mobile.

2. Your mobile shows a unique 
    15 digit.

3. Note down this no anywhere 
     But except in your mobile as 
     this is the Number which will 
     help trace your mobile in 
     Case of a theft.

4. Once stolen you just have to 
     E-mail this 15 digit IMEI No. 
     to cop@vsnl.net with detail 
     Mentioned below.
   
Your name:____________________
Address:______________________
Phone model:_________________
Make:_________________________
Last used No.:_________________
E-mail for communication:_____
Missed date:___________________
IMEI No :_______________________

      5. No need to go to the 
          police.

      6. Your Mobile will be traced 
           within next 24 hrs via a 
           complex system of GPRS 
          and internet, You will find 
          where your hand set is 
          being operated even in 
          case your No. is being 
          changed.

Do try this and share your reviews

*********

ಗಿರಾಕಿ: ಒಂದು kg ಚಿಪ್ಸ್ ಗೆ ಎಷ್ಟು?


ವ್ಯಾಪಾರಿ : 80 ರುಪಾಯಿ.


ಗಿರಾಕಿ : ಲೂಸ್  ತಗೊಂಡ್ರೆ?


ವ್ಯಾಪಾರಿ : ಯಾರ್ ತಗೊಂಡ್ರು ಅಷ್ಟೇ.

😛😛😃😃

*********

The finest of the fine arts is the art of living. One can not teach it by external instructions. One must learn to give and take, to concede and convince. Life will be beautiful then. This wisdom will come from inner peace only.” – Mankutimma

*********

Sampu went to a bank to open a S.B.  A/C.
After seeing the Form he went to Delhi for filling it up.
You know why?
Form said: 'Fill Up In Capital.'
😀    

Sampu standing below a tube light with open mouth.
Why?
Because his doctor advised him: 'Today's dinner should be light !'
😃
On romantic date sampu gf asks him:
'Darling ! On our engagement will you give me a ring?'
He said: 'Sure ! What's your phone no.?'
😀
Sampu found the answer to the most difficult question ever.
What will come first, chicken or egg?
what ever u order first will come first.
😀
Teacher told all students to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except sampu
He wrote:'Due To Rain, No Match!'
😀
What does sampu do after taking a Xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.
😀
 Sampu& wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sampu: Drink quickly before it gets cold.
Wife: Why?
Sampu: Hot coffee $5 and cold coffee $10.
😀

What happens when  sampu wife delivers twins???? 
He does not sleep whole night, thinking who is the father of second child...😝

Manager asked sampu at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it? 
Sampu replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
😃

After returning back from a foreign trip, sampu asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sampu: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
😁😉
 
Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
 Sampu writes, "Gandhi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.
😖😠

Interviewer: just imagine you are on the3rd floor, it caught fire
and how will you escape?
Sampu: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
😝😜✌

Sampu: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sampu: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.
🙌👉😝😁

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sampu: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!
😘😍


Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sampu: "All are born on government holidays...!!!
😭😂✨

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sampu: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE
👏✋😜😝✨
Dont laugh alone..jst pass 2 ur contactss.😂😂😂😉😜

*********

If civil engineers start making films: 
The names will be…. “Curing ho na ho” “Jaanam deshuttering karo” 
“Aa ab concrete kare” “Kabhi m20 kabhi m30″
 Hamari TAPE Apke Pas Hai” 
“Plaster kiya To Darna Kya”, 
“RCC no. 1″,
 “Execution Koi Khel Nahi”, 
“Maine Excavation Kyu Kiya”.
 “Distraction se construction tak ” “Contractor profit le jayenge”

From Civil Engineer

*********


ಅಪ್ಪ ಹೇಳಿದ.... ಮಾಳಿಗೆ ಹತ್ತುವಾಗ ಒಂದು ಮೆಟ್ಟಿಲು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಒಂದು ಹತ್ತು ಅಂತ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆ....

ಅದು ಯಾಕೆ ಕೇಳಿದ ಪಕ್ಕದ ಮನೆಯವ....

ಚಪ್ಪಲಿ ಸವೆಯುವುದು ಕಮ್ಮಿಯಾಗುತ್ತೆಂತ.... ಈ ಬೋ...ಮಗ ಎರಡೆರಡು  ಮೆಟ್ಟಿಲು ಬಿಡ್ತಿದಾನೆ....

ಪಕ್ಕದ ಮನೆಯವನಿಗೆ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯ....

ಇನ್ನೂ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯದಾಯ್ತಲ್ಲ.... ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಮೆಟ್ಟಿಲು ಹಾರಿದ್ರೆ ಸವೆಯುವುದು ಅಷ್ಟೆ ಕಮ್ಮಿಯಾಗುತ್ತಲ್ಲ...

ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಅಪ್ಪ ಹೇಳಿದ.....

ಮೆಟ್ಟಿಲು ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಹಾರಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ ಚಡ್ಡಿ ಹರೀತಲ್ಲ....

😂😂😂😂😜😜😂😂😂😂

*********

How to communicate and be successful 

Talk to Mother lovingly 
Talk to Father respectfully 
Talk to Guru with humility
Talk to Wife truthfully 
Talk to Brothers with restraint 
Talk to Sisters affectionately 
Talk to Children with enthusiasm 
Talk to Relatives with empathy 
Talk to Friends freely
Talk to Officials politely
Talk to Vendors strictly
Talk to Customers honestly 
Talk to Workers courteously 
Talk to Politicians carefully 
Talk to GOD SILENTLY🙏

*********
Pls note this as very important for all shared by a  doctor. - for those who get up at night from sleep to urinate or early morning : Each individual must take note of the 3 x 1/2 minutes. Why is it important? 3 x 1/2 minutes  will greatly reduce the number of sudden deaths. Often this occurs, a person who still look healthy, has died in the night. Often we hear stories of people, yesterday I was chatting with him, why did he suddenly die? The reason is that when you wake up at night to go to the bathroom is often done in a rush. Immediately we stand, the brain lacks blood flow. Why "3 x 1/2 minute" very important?   In the middle of the night when you are awakened by the urge to urinate for example, ECG pattern can change. Because getting up suddenly, the brain will be anaemic and causes heart failure due to lack of blood. Advised to practice "3 1/2 minutes," which are: 
1. When waking from sleep, lie in bed for the 1st 1/2 minute;
 2. Sit in bed for the next 1/2 minute;
3. Lower your legs, sitting on the edge of the bed for the last half-minute. After 3 x 1/2 minutes, you will not have  anaemic brain and heart will not fail, reducing the possibility of a fall and sudden death.
 Share with family, friends & loved ones. It can occur regardless of age; young or old.
 Sharing is Caring. If you already know, regard this as refresher

*********

SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 65

Man O Man!
 When without money,
 eats vegetables at home;
 When has money,
 eats the same vegetables in a fine restaurant.
 .
When without money, rides bicycle; When has money rides the same ‘exercise machine’. . When without money walks to earn food When has money, walks to burn fat; Man O Man! Never fails to deceive thyself! . When without money, wishes to get married; When has money, wishes to get divorced. . When without money, wife becomes secretary; When has money, secretary becomes wife. . When without money, acts like a rich man; When has money acts like a poor man. Man O Man! Never can tell the simple truth! . Says share market is bad, but keeps speculating; Says money is evil, but keeps accumulating. . Says high Positions are lonely, but keeps wanting them. . Says gambling & drinking is bad, but keeps indulging; Man O Man! Never means what he says and never says what he means.. "I slept on benches and everyday borrowed 20Rs from friend to travel to film city" - Sharukh khan "I failed in 8th standard" -Sachin Tendulkar "During my secondary school, I was dropped from school basketball team" -MichelI Jordan "I was rejected for the job in All India Radio bcoz of my heavy voice" - Amitabh Bacchan "I used to work in petrol Bunks" - Dhirubhai Ambani "I was rejected in the interview of Pilot" - Abdul Kalam "I didn't even complete my university education" - Bill Gates "I was a dyslexic kid" - Tom Cruize "I was raped at the age of 9 " - Oprah Winfrey "I used to serve tea at a shop to support my football training" - Lionel Messi "I used to sleep on the floor in friends rooms, returning Coke bottles for food, money, and getting weekly free meals at a local temple" -Steve Jobs "My teachers used to call me a failure" - Tony Blair "I was in prison for 27 years" -Nelson Mandela. "At the age of 30, I was a bus conductor" -Rajnikant At the age of 19 worked in hotel washing plates and slept in kitchen. But now CEO of Esskay Industries - Sumanth Chandrashekhar He worked for a textile factory for six months, without anyone suspecting that his parents were movie stars. - SURYA sivakumar "Friends, there are many such people who struggled.. Life is not about what you couldn't do so far, it's about what you can still do. Wait n dont ever give up.. Miracles happen every day.... Rs.20 seems too much to give a beggar but it seems okay when its given as tip at a fancy restaurant. After a whole day of work, Hours at the gym seem alright but helping your Mother out at home seems like a burden. Praying to god for 3 min takes too much time but watching a movie for 3 hours doesn't. Wait a whole year for Valentine's day but we always forget Mother's day. Two poor starving kids sitting on the pavement weren't given even a slice of Bread but a painting of them sold for lakhs of Rupees. We don't think twice About forwarding jokes But we will rethink about sending this message on. Think about It.. Make a change. Coz u can ....

*********
 
Six Easy ways to earn, even after death.

1) Give a smile or gift to someone.
Each time u gift or smile, it will make someone's day.....u gain.

2) Donate a wheelchair to a hospital. Each time sick person uses it, u gain.

3) Participate in building an orphanage, hospital, school or college.
Anybody uses it, u gain.

4) Place a water cooler in a public place. Anybody drinks water, u gain.

5) Plant a tree. Whenever a person, animal sits in its shade or eats from it, u gain.

6) And the easiest of all is to Share this message with people. Even if 1 applies any of the 
above, u gain.

*********

The menu at a Bhelpuri shop....


1) Bhelpuri Rs. 10
2) Special Bhelpuri Rs 12
3) Very Special Bhelpuri Rs 15 
4) Extra Special Bhelpuri Rs 16
5) Double Extra Special Bhelpuri Rs.20
6) Sunday Special Bhelpuri Rs 25
(Sunday only)

To check each & every Bhelpuri for its different taste, I started eating a different one, everyday. . . . .

But soon I discovered that each & every one had the same taste of Bhelpuri.

Finally, one day I asked him the reason for the same taste, but difference in price ?
💷 💵 💴

Bhelwala said : Bhelpuri cost. . . . Rs 10

Special Bhelpuri means spoons washed ... 🍴

Very Special Bhelpuri means spoon and plates both washed ... 🍛🍴

Extra Special Bhelpuri means washing hands before putting the Bhel in the washed plates & serving with washed spoons... 👏

Double Extra Special Bhelpuri means clean drinking water is provided separately ... 💧
 
Saying this he fell silent.

Then I asked him, What is Sunday Special?

Belwala said : Sunday ... I bathe. . .
😝😝😝😛😜😀

*********

FANTASTIC MSG..!

How Can You "SM_LE"
Without "I" ?
How Can You Be "F_NE" 
Without "I" ?
How Can You "W_SH"
Without "I" ?
How Can You Be "N_CE"
Without "I" ?
How Can You Be "FR_END"
Without "I" ?
"I" Am Very Important!

But This ' I ' Can Never Achieve "S_CCESS" nor Can "LA_GH" Without all of 'U' ......And
That Makes 'U' More Important Than 'I..👌👌👌👏👏

*********

wife:Nanu Tappiskondre Niven Madtira?
hus:News Paperge Jahiratu Kodtini
wife:So sweet! Adrali Yenanta Baritira?
hus: Yelle iru, Hege iru, 
Please
Alle iru.😂😂😂

*********

शादी के बाद पहली बार बहू रसोई मे गई और रेसिपी बुक में पढ़कर खाना बना रही थी ।

सास बाहर से घर लौटी, फ्रिज खोला, अन्दर देखकर चकराई और पूछा:
"ये मन्दिर का घण्टा फ्रिज में क्यों रखा है ?"

बहू : "किताब में लिखा है, सब चीजों का मिश्रण कर लें और एक घण्टा फ्रिज में रखें ।"

*********

Another graduate from IIN..
Girl :- Lets go for a dinner tonight.
Boy (IT guy) :- Ok.
Girl :- But where will you take me?
Boy :- We will go to Mint Food (an economic restaurant).
Girl :- No. That's a very cheap place. Let's go to Tomato's (A brutally costly place)
Boy :- *silence for a minute* Ok, See you at 7. I will pick you up from your place.
Boy picks up girl at 7, On the way...
Boy :- Once I had pani puri (a.k.a. gol-gappa, an indian street food) competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris and defeated me.
Girl :- What's so difficult in it?
Boy :- Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is difficult.
Girl :- I can easily beat you.
Boy :- Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.
Girl :- Let us have that competition right now.
Boy :- So you want to see yourself defeated?
Girl :- Let's see.
They both stop at a Pani-puri stall. They start eating. After about 30 Pani-puri the boy gave up. The girl was also full, but to defeat her boyfriend, she ate one more and shouted, "You lose."
The bill was 120rs
'The main aim of IT person is to satisfy customer with minimum investments  '😂😂😂😂😁😉
Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong ROI. Thats the IT

*********

How to do root cause analysis... 😐

A Management lecturer was talking about Quality and it goes like that :

Lecturer : We all know Lord Ram went to spend 14 years in forest and Sita was kidnapped because of a quality issue. 😳

Student : How is this anything to do with quality? 😐

Lecturer : Tell me why did Sita go to forest with Ram ? 

Student : Because she was his wife and respects his every decision. 😒

Lecturer : OK but why did Ram go to forest ?

Student : Because his father Dasharatha told him to do so and he never deny his father. 😒

Lecturer : OK why did Dasharatha send his son to forest ?

Student : Dasharatha offered his wife (Kaikeyi) two boons , and she chose to make use of them in the future. And she wanted her son to be king, so on the day of Rama's crowning, she asked Dasharatha to send Rama to exile reminding him of his promising boons. 😏

Lecturer : So why did Dasharatha offer his wife two boons ?

Student : Because during a military campaign against Sambarasura, the wheel of Dasharatha's chariot broke and Sambarasura's arrow pierced the King's armor. She nursed the wounded King back to health. Touched by her courage and timely service, Dasharatha offered her two boons. 😟

Lecturer: Hence Proved. The quality of Chariot's wheel was not up to the mark hence leading to kidnapping of Sita...!!!! 😳

😂😂😂😄😄😄😄😜😜😜
So the Quality is very important

*********

Very nice article .. must read:          The below article is written by a lady Mrs. Chithra vishwanathan, 
who's a famous Cooking expert...

Really a good read! 

When my daughter, d elder one of my two children got married & 
left the house, 

I felt as if I could not let her leave me..

Having a daughter & a son, 
I know what both mean, but differently ..

Once my daughter reached her teens 
I had started feeling as if my daughter was a "physical extension" of me ! 

So when she was leaving home to set up her own nest, 
it was as though 
I was losing a limb...

The next time she came for a short stay with us, 
I was astonished how her priorities had changed. 
( ofcourse we must have given the same shocks to our own parents ! ). 

When she said Amma, 
she meant her MIL & not me! 

I imagined that she was always in a hurry to go back to her house & 
not stay with me for a few more days..

 That was the first time, 
it dawned on me that 
I have to start practising detachment in attachment...

Two years after 
my daughter’s marriage, 
my son left for higher stdies to U S. 
Having experienced a child's separation once, 
I was better equipped emotionally. 

I plunged head long into various classes held in the city starting from vedanta to healing to ikebana -
 I just wanted to be away from home..

 since my husband was a 7-7 worker 
& a workaholic. 

My son used to write how he was missing my home cooked food, 
how he was waiting to come back to live in Chennai with us etc...

After a few years, he did come back 
& we got him married. 

He started living separately with his wife & 
we were also happy that they wanted to be independant from the beginning...

But now, 
it was all changed ! 

When in the U S, 
he missed my cooking, now if I called him to come over with his wife for a meal, 
it was always some excuse like 
" oh, amma, we have other plans for the day, 
please don't mistake us if we don't drop in today " ! 

I could see that his priorities had also changed completely..

We talk in theory so many things & 
give advice to others etc 
but when it comes to your own children,

 acceptance comes very late & 
next step is just leaving them undisturbed 
in every way, 
-
mainly without advice from our end.

It was at that time, I made the following lines as my 
" new profile":
 
In all my relationships , rather interactions , I give my best. 
I work hard to mature & 
cherish them. 

My attachment with them is complete.

 However , I remain detached in the sense that I do not expect them to reciprocate my affection. 

Most importantly , 
I make a conscious effort , 
not to interfere or pass judgements on the lives they choose to lead. 

My concern for my near & dear ones will not fade with my detachment. 
If you let go of the ones you love , 
they will never go away – 
this is the beauty of attachment with detachment ! 

I have learnt to love & let go.
This dictum has developed tolerance in me. 
When I let the people live the way they want to , 
I learn to accept them for what they are. 

Most importantly , 
I learn to tolerate the world around me & 
this tolerance brings in me a sense of peace & contentment. 

I ask God to guide me in being loving , compassionate , tolerant & understanding when 
I interact with others. 
If a person wants to share a thought or concern with me 
I want that person to feel comfortable to do so. 
I want to remain peaceful & approachable to others. 

Before I speak , I pray to God to give me the right words so that I express myself clearly & with consideration to others.
 
Since both my children live in Chennai, I follow this very strictly, you know why ! 

Now I have realised that we start growing mentally much more only after the children leave the house & 
we have to tackle the emotional vacuum, 
that arises, along with age-related problems .

I find this is the most testing period for a woman, 
as well & emerging successfully is a slow process.
 
I specially dedicate this post to my  friends, 
who are  totally  dependant  on their  children's lives, 
to nurture their  own  selves  emotionally. 

Please develop your  own  intersts, hobbies  etc, however mundane they  seem to be..

We must learn
To love  whatever  we  do
instead of
Doing whatever we love !!

Ratha Sapthami ರಥ ಸಪ್ತಮಿ

ಮಾಘಮಾಸ ಶುಕ್ಲ ಪಕ್ಷದ ಸಪ್ತಮಿ ತಿಥಿಯಂದು ಸೂರ್ಯನ ಜನ್ಮದಿನ. ಅಲ್ಲದೆ ಸಪ್ತಮಿ ತಿಥಿಯ ಅದಿದೇವತೆಯು ಸೂರ್ಯ ಆಗಿರುವುದರಿಂದ, ಇಂದು ಸೂರ್ಯ ಆರಾಧನೆಯ 'ರಥ ಸಪ್ತಮಿ' ದಿನವೆಂದು ಆಚರಿಸಲಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ನಿಯಮಬದ್ಧವಾದ ಉದಯ ಹಾಗೂ ಅಸ್ತಗಳ ಮೂಲಕ ನಮಗೆ ಶಿಸ್ತು ಬದ್ಧವಾದ ಕರ್ತವ್ಯ ಪ್ರಜ್ಞೆ, ಚೈತನ್ಯವನ್ನು ತುಂಬುವ ಸೂರ್ಯನ ಪೂಜೆಯೇ ಈ ದಿವಸದ ಮುಖ್ಯ ಆಚರಣೆಯಾಗಿದೆ. ಈ ದಿನದಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆಯುವ ಕೆಲಸ ಕಾರ್ಯಗಳು, ಕೋರಿಕೆಗಳು ಫಲಪ್ರದವಾಗಿರುತ್ತವೆ. ಸೂರ್ಯನ ಪ್ರಕಾಶ ಹೆಚ್ಚುತ್ತಿರುವುದರಿಂದ ಚಳಿಗಾಲದ ಚಳಿ ಮುದುಡಿಕೊಂಡು ಮೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ನವಚೇತನ ತುಂಬಿದಂತೆ ಅನಿಸುತ್ತದೆ. ಅಂಗಾಂಗಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾರ್ಯಕ್ಷಮವಾಗುತ್ತಿವೆ. ಈ ಉಪಕಾರಕ್ಕಾಗಿ ಸೂರ್ಯನನ್ನು ಪೂಜಿಸುವುದು ರೂಢಿಯಲ್ಲಿದೆ. ಆಹಾರಕ್ಕಾಗಿ, ರೋಗ ನಿವಾರಣೆಗಾಗಿ ಸೂರ್ಯೋಪಾಸನೆ ಮಾಡಬೇಕೆಂದು ಸ್ಕಂದ, ವರಾಹ ಪುರಾಣಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಹೇಳಿವೆ.


ವೈವಸ್ವತ ಮನ್ವಂತರದ ಆರಂಭದ ದಿನ. ಸೂರ್ಯನು ಉತ್ತರಾಯಣನಾಗಿ ಸಪ್ತಾಶ್ವಗಳ ರಥವನ್ನೇರಿ, ಉತ್ತರದಿಕ್ಕಿನ ಮಾರ್ಗದಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊರಟ ದಿನ.


ರಥ ಸಪ್ತಮಿ ದಿವಸ ರೋಗ ನಿವಾರಣೆ, ದೇಹದಾರ್ಡ್ಯ ಹಾಗೂ ಉತ್ತಮ ಆರೋಗ್ಯವನ್ನು ಬಯಸುವವರು ಸೂರ್ಯನ ಆರಾಧನೆ ಮಾಡಬೇಕೆಂಬ ನಿಯಮವಿದೆ. ರೋಗಾಣುಗಳನ್ನು ನಾಶ ಪಡಿಸುವ ಶಕ್ತಿ ಸೂರ್ಯನ ಕಿರಣಗಳಲ್ಲಿವೆ. ಬೆಳಗಿನ ಹಾಗೂ ಸಂಜೆಯ ಸೂರ್ಯ ಕಿರಣಗಳಿಂದ ಆರೋಗ್ಯ ವರ್ಧನೆಯಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ರೋಗದಿಂದ ನರಳುವವರು ಈ ದಿವಸ ಸೂರ್ಯಾರಾಧನೆಯನ್ನು ಮಾಡಿದರೆ ಬೇಗ ಗುಣಮುಖರಾಗುತ್ತಾರೆ.


ಯೋಗಾಸನಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಮೊದಲ ಪ್ರಾಶಸ್ತ್ಯ ಸೂರ್ಯ ನಮಸ್ಕಾರಕ್ಕೆ ನೀಡಬಹುದು. ಏಕೆಂದರೆ ಈ ಅಭ್ಯಾಸವು ಮನಸು, ದೇಹ ಮತ್ತು ಉಸಿರಾಟ ವ್ಯವಸ್ಥೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಪರಿಣಾಮಕಾರಿಯಾಗಿದೆ. ಭೂಮಿಯಲ್ಲಿನ ಸಕಲ ಜೀವರಾಶಿಗಳ ಚಟುವಟಿಕೆಗಳು ಸೂರ್ಯನಿಂದ ನಡೆಯುತ್ತಿದೆ.


ರಥಸಪ್ತಮಿ ದಿನದಂದು ಸೂರ್ಯೋದಯಕ್ಕೆ ಸರಿಯಾಗಿ ನದಿ, ಸಮುದ್ರ, ಸರೋವರ, ಸಂಗಮ ಮುಂತಾದೆಡೆ ಸ್ನಾನ ಮಾಡಿ ಸೂರ್ಯನಿಗೆ 'ಅರ್ಘ್ಯ' ನೀಡಿದರೆ ಪೂರ್ವ ಜನ್ಮದ ಪಾಪಗಳು ಹಾಗೂ ಈ ಜನ್ಮದ ಸಕಲ ದುಃಖಗಳು ಪರಿಹಾರವಾಗುತ್ತವೆ. ಸೂರ್ಯೋದಯಕ್ಕೆ ಮಾಡುವ ಮಾಘಸ್ನಾನ ಪುಣ್ಯಪ್ರದವಾದುದು. ಆಯುಷ್ಯ, ಆರೋಗ್ಯ ಸಂಪತ್ತು ಲಭಿಸುವುದಲ್ಲದೆ, ಸೂರ್ಯನ ಅನುಗ್ರಹ ಪ್ರಾಪ್ತಿಯಾಗುತ್ತದೆಂದು ಪುರಾಣದಲ್ಲಿದೆ. ಸೂರ್ಯನ ಆರಾಧನೆ ಋಗ್ವೇದದ ಕಾಲದಿಂದಲೂ ಪ್ರಚಲಿತದಲ್ಲಿದೆ. ಪ್ರಾಚೀನ ವೈದಿಕ ಧರ್ಮದಲ್ಲಿ ಸೂರ್ಯನಿಗೆ ಅತ್ಯಂತ ಪ್ರಾಮುಖ್ಯತೆ ಇತ್ತು. ಆತನ ಆರಾಧನೆಯಿಂದಲೇ ಸೌರ ಪಂಥ ಹುಟ್ಟಿದ್ದು. ಕಾಲ ಗಣನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಸೌರಮಾನ ಎಣಿಕೆ ಇಂದಿಗೂ ಇದೆ.


ಗಾಯತ್ರಿ ಮಂತ್ರದಲ್ಲಿನ ಪ್ರತಿಶಬ್ದವು ಸೂರ್ಯನ ಸಾಮಥ್ಯಗಳನ್ನು ಕೊಂಡಾಡುವ ಉದ್ದೇಶದಿಂದಲೇ ಬಳಸಲಾಗಿದೆ.


ದ್ವಾಪರಾಯುಗದಲ್ಲಿ ಶ್ರೀ ಕೃಷ್ಣನು ಧರ್ಮರಾಜನಿಗೆ ರಥಸಪ್ತಮಿ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಹೇಳಿದ ಕಥೆಯಿದೆ. ಯಶೋವರ್ಮನೆಂಬ ರಾಜನ ಮಗ ಹುಟ್ಟಿನಿಂದಲೇ ರೋಗಿಷ್ಠನಾಗಿದ್ದ. ಈ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಜ್ಯೋತಿಷಿಗಳಿಂದ ವಿವರ ಪಡೆದು ಸಂಚಿತಕರ್ಮದಿಂದ ಬಂದಿರುವ ಈ ಕಾಯಿಲೆಗೆ ರಥಸಪ್ತಮಿ ವ್ರತ ಆಚರಿಸಲು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದರು. ಅದರಂತೆ ರಥಸಪ್ತಮಿಯ ದಿನ ಸೂರ್ಯಾರಾದನೆ ಮಾಡಲಾಗಿ ರಾಜ ಪುತ್ರನು ಆರೋಗ್ಯವಂತನೂ, ಪ್ರಭಾವಶಾಲಿಯೂ ಆದ. ಅಲ್ಲದೆ ಪಾಂಡವರು ವನವಾಸದ
ಅವಧಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೃಷ್ಣನ ಆದೇಶದಂತೆ ಸೂರ್ಯಾರಾಧನೆ ಮಾಡಿ ಸೂರ್ಯನಿಂದ ಅಕ್ಷಯ ಪಾತ್ರೆ ಪಡೆದಿದ್ದರು.


ಅಲ್ಲದೆ ರಾವಣನ್ನು ಗೆಲ್ಲಬೇಕಾದರೆ ಶ್ರೀರಾಮನು ಕೂಡ ಅಗಸ್ತ್ಯರ ಉಪದೇಶದಂತೆ 'ಆದಿತ್ಯ ಹೃದಯ' ದ ಮೂಲಕ ಸೂರ್ಯನ ಆರಾಧನೆ ಮಾಡಿದನೆಂದು ರಾಮಾಯಣದಲ್ಲಿ ಹೇಳಿದೆ. ಸೂರ್ಯಾರಾಧನೆ ಮಾಡಿ, ಚಿನ್ನ ನೀಡುವ 'ಶಮಂಥಕಮಣಿ' ಪಡೆದ ಸತ್ರಾಜಿತ ಕಥೆ ಹರಿವಂಶದಲ್ಲಿ ಬಂದಿದೆ. ಮಯೂರನೆಂಬ ಕವಿ 'ಸೂರ್ಯಶತಕ'ವೆಂಬ ಗ್ರಂಥ ಬರೆದು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡ ಕಣ್ಣನ್ನು ಮತ್ತೆ ಪಡೆದನೆಂದು ಹೇಳುತ್ತಾರೆ.


ಶ್ರೀರಾಮ ಸೂರ್ಯವಂಶದವನಾದರೆ ಕರ್ಣ, ಸುಗ್ರೀವ, ನವಗ್ರಹಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಶನಿ ಹಾಗೂ ಯಮ ಸೂರ್ಯನ ಪುತ್ರರಾಗಿದ್ದಾರೆ.


ವ್ಯಕ್ತಿಯ ಜನ್ಮ ಕುಂಡಲಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಸೂರ್ಯನು ಬಲಹೀನನಾಗಿದ್ದರೆ ಅಥವಾ ಷಡ್ಬಲವಿರದಿದ್ದರೆ ರಥಸಪ್ತಮಿಯಂದು ಸೂರ್ಯಾರಾಧನೆ ಮಾಡಿದರೆ ದೋಷ ಪರಿಹಾರವಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಮಾಣಿಕ್ಯದ ಹರಳು ಧರಿಸಲು ಶುಭ ದಿನವಾಗಿದೆ.


ರಥ ಸಪ್ತಮೀಯು ಯಾವಾಗಲೂ ಅರುಣುದೋಯವ್ಯಾಪಿನಿಯಾಗಿರುವುದರಿಂದ ಸರಿಯಾಗಿ ಸೂರ್ಯೋದಯಕ್ಕೆ ಆಚರಣೆ ಮಾಡಬೇಕು. ರಥ ಸಪ್ತಮಿಯಂದು ಸೂರ್ಯೋದಯ ಕಾಲಕ್ಕೆ ಸ್ನಾನ ಮಾಡಬೇಕು. ಎಕ್ಕೆ ಎಲೆಯನ್ನು ತಲೆ ಮತ್ತು ಹೆಗಲ ಮೇಲೆ ಇಟ್ಟುಕೊಂಡು ಸ್ನಾನಮಾಡುವುದು ವಿಶೇಷ. ಸ್ನಾನಕಾಲಕ್ಕೆ ಪಠಿಸಬೇಕಾದ ಮಂತ್ರಗಳು -


ಯದ್ಯಜ್ಜನ್ಮಕೃತಂ ಪಾಪಂ ಮಯಾ ಸಪ್ತಸು ಜನ್ಮಸು | 
ತನ್ಮೇ ರೋಗಂ ಚ ಶೋಕಂ ಚ ಮಾಕರೀ ಹಂತು ಸಪ್ತಮೀ || ೧ || 
ಏತಜ್ಜನ್ಮಕೃತಂ ಪಾಪಂ ಯಚ್ಚ ಜನ್ಮಾಂತರಾರ್ಜಿತಮ್ | 
ಮನೋವಾಕ್ಕಾಯಜಂ ಯಚ್ಚ ಜ್ಞಾತಾಜ್ಞಾತೇ ಚ ಯೇ ಪುನಃ || ೨ | 
ಇತಿ ಸಪ್ತವಿಧಂ ಪಾಪಂ ಸ್ನಾನಾನ್ಮೇ ಸಪ್ತಸಪ್ತಿಕೇ | 
ಸಪ್ತವ್ಯಾಧಿಸಮಾಯುಕ್ತಂ ಹರ ಮಾಕರಿ ಸಪ್ತಮೀ || ೩ || 


ಹೀಗೆ ಯಾರು ಈ ಮೂರು ಮಂತ್ರೋಚ್ಚಾರಣ ಪೂರಕ ಸ್ನಾನ ಮಾಡಿ ಸೂರ್ಯ ಮತ್ತು ಕೇಶವನ ದರ್ಶನವನ್ನು ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾರೋ, ಅವರು ಕ್ಷಣಮಾತ್ರದಲ್ಲಿ ಪಾಪಗಳಿಂದ ಮುಕ್ತರಾಗುವರು. (ನಿರ್ಣಯಸಿಂಧು)


ಸ್ನಾನಾನಂತರ ಸೂರ್ಯ ಮತ್ತು ಸಪ್ತಮಿತಿಥಿಗೆ ಅರ್ಘ್ಯ -

ಒಂದು ತಾಮ್ರದ ಕಲಶದಲ್ಲಿ (ತಂಬಿಗೆ) ಶುದ್ಧವಾದ ಜಲ, ಅಕ್ಷತೆ, ಚಂದನ, ಬಿಳಿಬಣ್ಣದ ಹೂವುಗಳು, ಗರಿಕೆ, ಎಕ್ಕೆಯ ಎಲೆಗಳನ್ನು ತುಂಬಿಸಿ, ಮುಂದಿನ ಮಂತ್ರಗಳಿಂದ ಸೂರ್ಯ ಮತ್ತು ಸೂರ್ಯಜನನೀಯಾದ ಸಪ್ತಮೀ ತಿಥಿಗೂ ಸಹ ಅರ್ಘ್ಯವನ್ನು ಕೊಡಬೇಕು.


ಸೂರ್ಯಾರ್ಘ್ಯ ಮಂತ್ರ -

ಸಪ್ತಸಪ್ತಿವಹ ಪ್ರೀತ ಸಪ್ತಲೋಕಪ್ರದೀಪನ | 
ಸಪ್ತಮೀ ಸಹಿತೋ ದೇವ ಗೃಹಾಣಾರ್ಘ್ಯಂ ದಿವಾಕರ || 
ಎಂದು ಸೂರ್ಯನಿಗೆ ಅರ್ಘ್ಯವನ್ನು ಕೊಡಬೇಕು.


ಸಪ್ತಮೀ ಅರ್ಘ್ಯಮಂತ್ರ -

ಜನನೀ ಸರ್ವಲೋಕಾನಾಂ ಸಪ್ತಮೀ ಸಪ್ತಸಪ್ತಿಕೇ | 
ಸಪ್ತವ್ಯಾಹೃತಿಕೇ ದೇವಿ ನಮಸ್ತೇ ಸೂರ್ಯಮಂಡಲೇ || 
ಎಂದು ಸಪ್ತಮೀ ತಿಥಿಯ ಕುರಿತು ಅರ್ಘ್ಯ ಕೊಡಬೇಕು.


ರಥಸಪ್ತಮಿಯ ಪರ್ವ ಎಲ್ಲ ರಾಶಿಯವರಿಗೂ ವಿಶೇಷ ಫಲಪ್ರದ. ಸೂರ್ಯನು ಯಾವುದೇ ಜಾತಕದಲ್ಲಿ ಆತ್ಮರೂಪಿಯಾಗಿ ಇರುತ್ತಾನೆ, ಆದ್ದರಿಂದ ಅವನ ಪ್ರೀತ್ಯರ್ಥ ಪೂಜಾಕಾರ್ಯ ಆರೋಗ್ಯ, ಸಂಪತ್ತು ಮತ್ತು ಆನಂದಪ್ರದ.

Mother's 8 lies ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳಿದ ಎಂಟು ಸುಳ್ಳುಗಳು

ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳಿದ ಎಂಟು ಸುಳ್ಳುಗಳು

ಸೂಚನೆ : ಈ ಸುಳ್ಳುಗಳನ್ನು ಓದುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ಶುರುಮಾಡುವ ಮುನ್ನ ಕರವಸ್ತ್ರವನ್ನು ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿಟ್ಟುಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದರೆ ಕ್ಷೇಮ. ಯಾಕೆಂದರೆ, ಇದು ತಾಯಿಯ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಮತ್ತು ತ್ಯಾಗವನ್ನು ಕಂಡುಂಡು ಕಡುಬಡತನದಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಳೆದ ಕನ್ನಡ ಮಕ್ಕಳಿಗೆ ಮಾತ್ರ. ಸಿರಿ ಉಕ್ಕಿ ಮದ ಹೊಕ್ಕಿದವರಿಗಿಲ್ಲ. 

ಅಂಕಣಕಾರ : ಎ.ಆರ್. ಮಣಿಕಾಂತ್
ತುಂಬಾ ದೂರ ಅಲ್ಲ ಸಾರ್, ಇಲ್ಲೇ, ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು ತುಮಕೂರಿನ ಮಧ್ಯೆ ನೆಲಮಂಗಲ ಇದೆಯಲ್ಲ? ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಅಂಟಿಕೊಂಡ ಹಾಗೇ ಇರುವ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಗ್ರಾಮ ನಮ್ದು. ಹಳ್ಳಿ ಅಂದ್ಮೇಲೆ ಅಲ್ಲಿನ ಬದುಕು ಹೇಗಿರತ್ತೆ ಅಂತ ನಿಮಗೇನೂ ವಿವರಿಸಬೇಕಿಲ್ಲ ಅಲ್ವ? ನಮಗಂತೂ ಬಡತನವೇ ಬದುಕಾಗಿತ್ತು. ಕೂಲಿ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡ್ತಿದ್ದ ಅಪ್ಪನಿಗೆ ಒಂದು ನಿಶ್ಚಿತ ಆದಾಯ ಅಂತ ಇರಲೇ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಕೆಲಸಕ್ಕೆ ಕರೀತಿದ್ದ ಸಾಹುಕಾರರು ನಾಲ್ಕು ಕಾಸು ಕೊಡ್ತಿದ್ರು ನಿಜ. ಆದ್ರೆ ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಜನರ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ತಿದ್ರು. ಹಗಲಿಂದ ದುಡಿದು ದುಡಿದು ಸುಸ್ತಾಗ್ತಿತ್ತು ನೋಡಿ, ಅದಕ್ಕೇ ಅಪ್ಪ ಕುಡಿತ ಕಲಿತ. ಸಂಜೆ ಮನೆಗೆ ಬಂದವನು ಅಮ್ಮನಿಗೆ ಒಂದಿಷ್ಟು ದುಡ್ಡು ಕೊಟ್ಟು, ಮಕ್ಕಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಕುಶಾಲಿನಿಂದ ಮಾತಾಡಿಸಿ, ಸೀದಾ ಹೆಂಡದಂಗಡಿಗೆ ಹೋಗಿಬಿಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದ. ಇಂಥ ಬದುಕಿನ ಹಲಗೆಯ ಮೇಲೆ, ಸದಾ ಅಣಕಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಕಡು ಬಡತನದ ಮಧ್ಯೆ, ಬಂಧುಗಳ ತಾತ್ಸಾರದ ನಡುವೆ, ನೆರೆಹೊರೆಯವರ ಸಣ್ಣ ಮಾತುಗಳ ನುಂಗಿ ಅಮ್ಮ ನಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ಬೆಳೆಸಿದಳು ಗೊತ್ತಾ ಸಾರ್? ಆದರೆ ಹಾಗೆ ಬೆಳೆಸುವ ಸಂದರ್ಭದಲ್ಲಿ ಅಮ್ಮ ಸಂದರ್ಭಕ್ಕೆ ತಕ್ಕ ಹಾಗೆ ಸುಳ್ಳು ಹೇಳಿಕೊಂಡೇ ಬಂದಳು. ಆ ಸುಳ್ಳುಗಳ ಹಿಂದೆ ಸಂಕಟವಿತ್ತು. ಹಸಿವಿತ್ತು. ಕಣ್ಣೀರಿತ್ತು. ನಿಟ್ಟುಸಿರಿತ್ತು. ಈ ಬದುಕಿನ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಬಡತನದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ; ಸಿಡಿಮಿಡಿಯಿತ್ತು. ಏನೂ ಮಾಡಲಾಗದ ತನ್ನ ಅಸಹಾಯಕತೆಯ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ವಿಷಾದವಿತ್ತು. ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿರಲಿ ಎಂಬ ಒಂದೇ ಕಾರಣಕ್ಕಾಗಿ ಅಮ್ಮ ಮೇಲಿಂದ ಮೇಲೆ ಒಂದೊಂದೇ ಸುಳ್ಳು ಹೇಳ್ತಿದ್ಲು. ಅದೆಲ್ಲ ಸುಳ್ಳು ಅಂತ ನಮಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾಗುವ ವೇಳೆಗೆ ತುಂಬ ತಡವಾಗಿತ್ತು. ಈಗ, ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದ ಸುಳ್ಳುಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಸಂದರ್ಭ ಸಹಿತ ನಿಮ್ಮೊಂದಿಗೆ ಹಂಚ್ಕೋಬೇಕು ಅನ್ನಿಸ್ತಿದೆ ಸಾರ್. *** *ನಾನು ಆಗಷ್ಟೇ ಒಂದನೇ ತರಗತಿಗೆ ಸೇರಿದ್ದೆ. ಯಥಾಪ್ರಕಾರ ಮನೇಲಿ ಮಧಾಹ್ನದ ಬಡತನವಿತ್ತು. ಆದರೆ ಅದು ನಮಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತೇ ಆಗದಂತೆ ಅಮ್ಮ ಎಚ್ಚರ ವಹಿಸಿದ್ದಳು. ಬೆಳಗ್ಗೆ ಹೊತ್ತು ತಿಂಡಿ ತಿಂದು ನಮಗೆ ಅಭ್ಯಾಸವೇ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಬೆಳಗ್ಗೆ ಬೆಳಗ್ಗೇನೇ ಅಮ್ಮ ಅಕ್ಕಿಯದೋ, ರಾಗೀದೋ ಗಂಜಿ ಮಾಡ್ತಿದ್ದಳು. ಅಪ್ಪ ಲಗುಬಗೆಯಿಂದ ಗಂಜಿ ಕುಡಿದು ಹೋದ ಮೇಲೆ ಉಳಿದಿದ್ದರಲ್ಲಿ ನಾನು ಅಮ್ಮ ಪಾಲು ಮಾಡ್ಕೋತಾ ಇದ್ವಿ. ತುಂಬಾ ಸಂದರ್ಭಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಏನಾಗ್ತಾ ಇತ್ತು ಅಂದ್ರೆ, ಅಮ್ಮ ತಟ್ಟೆಗೆ ಗಂಜಿ ಹಾಕಿದ ತಕ್ಷಣ ನಾನು ಗಟಗಟನೆ ಕುಡಿದುಬಿಡ್ತಿದ್ದೆ. ಎರಡೇ ನಿಮಿಷದಲ್ಲಿ ನನ್ನ ತಟ್ಟೆ ಖಾಲಿಯಾದದ್ದು ಕಂಡು ಅಮ್ಮ, ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಮೆಲ್ಲನೆ ನಕ್ಕು ತನ್ನ ತಟ್ಟೇಲಿ ಇದ್ದುದನ್ನೂ ನನಗೇ ಕೊಡ್ತಿದ್ಲು. ನಾನು ಅಚ್ಚರಿಯಿಂದ'ಅಯ್ಯೋ ಯಾಕಮ್ಮಾ ಎಂಬಂತೆ ನೋಡಿದರೆ ಕಂದಾ, ನನಗೆ ಈಗ ಹಸಿವಾಗ್ತಾನೇ ಇಲ್ಲ ನೋಡಪ್ಪ. ನೀನು ಸ್ಕೂಲಿಗೆ ಹೋಗ್ಬೇಕಲ್ಲ? ಸುಸ್ತಾಗುತ್ತೆ. ತಗೋ, ಹೊಟ್ಟೆ ತುಂಬ ಕುಡಿ. ಹೇಗಿದ್ರೂ ನಂಗೆ ಹಸಿವಾಗ್ತಾ ಇಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ. ಅನ್ನುತ್ತಿದ್ದಳು. ಅದು ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳಿದ ಮೊದಲ ಸುಳ್ಳು. *ಬಡವರಿಗೆ ಭಯ ಭಕ್ತಿ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಅಂತಾರೆ. ನಮ್ಮ ಮಟ್ಟಿಗೂ ಈ ಮಾತು ನಿಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು. ಅದೇ ಕಾರಣದಿಂದ ಹಬ್ಬ ಹರಿದಿನಗಳೂ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಇದ್ದವು. ಪ್ರತಿ ಹಬ್ಬಕ್ಕೂ ಬೆಲ್ಲದ ಪಾಯಸವೇ ಸ್ಪೆಷಲ್ಲು! ಆಗಲೂ ಅಷ್ಟೇ ಸಾರ್. ಅಮ್ಮ ಒಂದು ಪಾತ್ರೇಲಿ ಪಾಯಸ ಮಾಡಿರ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದಳು. ಹಬ್ಬದ ದಿನ ಮಾತ್ರ ಗಂಜಿಯ ಬದಲಿಗೆ ಅನ್ನ ಮಾಡಿರ್ತಾ ಇದ್ಳು. ನಾನು ಆಸೆಯಿಂದ ತಟ್ಟೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಅನ್ನ ಹಾಕಿಸ್ಕೊಂಡು ಗಬಗಬಾಂತ ತಿಂದು ಮುಗಿಸ್ತಿದ್ದೆ. ಆಮೇಲೆ ಒಂದು ರೌಂಡ್ ಪಾಯಸ ಕುಡಿದು, ಮತ್ತೆ ಆ ಪಾತ್ರೆಯ ಕಡೆಗೇ ಆಸೆಯಿಂದ ನೋಡ್ತಿದ್ದೆ ನೋಡಿ, ಆಗಲೇ ಅಮ್ಮ ಅಷ್ಟೂ ಪಾಯಸವನ್ನು ನಂಗೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟು 'ಕಂದಾ, ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಕುಡ್ಕೋ. ನನಗೆ ವಿಪರೀತ ಹಲ್ಲು ನೋವು ಕಣಪ್ಪಾ. ಜತೆಗೆ ಸಿಹಿ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ನಂಗೆ ಇಷ್ಟವಿಲ್ಲ' ಅಂದುಬಿಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದಳು. ನಂತರ ಸರಸರನೆ ಅಡುಗೆ ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ, ಒಂದು ಚೊಂಬಿನ ತುಂಬಾ ನೀರು ಕುಡಿದು- 'ಹೌದಪ್ಪಾ, ನನಗೆ ಸಿಹಿ ಇಷ್ಟವಿಲ್ಲ' ಅಂತಿದ್ಲು. ಅದು ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳಿದ ಎರಡನೇ ಸುಳ್ಳು! *ಆಗಷ್ಟೇ ನಾನು ಐದನೇ ತರಗತಿಗೆ ಬಂದಿದ್ದೆ. ಸ್ಕೂಲಿಂದ ಟೂರ್ ಹೊರಟಿದ್ರು. ಒಬ್ಬರಿಗೆ 300 ರೂ. ಶುಲ್ಕ. ಎಲ್ಲ ವಿಷಯ ಹೇಳಿ 'ಅಪ್ಪಾ, ಕಾಸು ಕೊಡಪ್ಪಾ' ಅಂದೆ. 'ಮಗಾ, ಇಡೀ ವರ್ಷ ದುಡಿದ್ರೂ ನನಗೆ ಅಷ್ಟು ದುಡ್ಡು ಸಿಗಲ್ಲ. ಬಡವಾ ನೀ ಮಡಗಿದಂಗಿರು ಅಂದಿದಾರೆ ದೊಡ್ಡವರು. ಹಾಗೇ ಇರು. ಟೂರೂ ಬೇಡ, ಗೀರೂ ಬೇಡ' ಅಂದೇಬಿಟ್ಟ ಅಪ್ಪ. ಅವತ್ತಿಂದಲೇ ಹಗಲಿಡೀ ಕೆಲಸ ಮುಗಿಸಿ, ರಾತ್ರಿ ಅದೆಷ್ಟೋ ಹೊತ್ತಿನವರೆಗೂ ಬೀಡಿ ಕಟ್ತಾ ಇರ್‍ತಿದ್ಲು ಅಮ್ಮ. ಯಾಕಮ್ಮಾ ಹೀಗೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ 'ನಂಗೆ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಹೊತ್ತು ನಿದ್ರೇನೇ ಬರ್‍ತಿಲ್ಲ ಮಗನೇ' ಅಂದು ಕೆಲಸ ಮುಂದುವರಿಸ್ತಾ ಇದ್ಳು. ಕಡೆಗೊಂದು ದಿನ ಮುದುರಿ ಮುದುರಿ ಮುದುರಿಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದ ನೋಟುಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಕೊಟ್ಟು "ಟೂರ್‌ಗೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದು ಬಾಪ್ಪ" ಅಂದಳು. ಅದು ಸಾಲ ಮಾಡಿದ ಹಣ ಎದು ನನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾಗುವ ವೇಳೆಗೆ ಅಮ್ಮ ಮತ್ತೆ ಬೀಡಿ ಕಟ್ಟಳು ಕುಳಿತಾಗಿತ್ತು. ಹಿಂದೆಯೇ 'ಅಯ್ಯೋ ನಂಗೆ ನಿದ್ರೇನೇ ಬರ್‍ತಿಲ್ಲ' ಎಂಬ ಅದೇ ಹಳೆಯ ಮಾತು ಬೇರೆ. ಹೌದು. ಅದು ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳಿದ ಮೂರನೇ ಸುಳ್ಳು. *ಏಳನೇ ತರಗತಿಗೆ ಬರುವ ವೇಳೆಗೆ ನನಗೆ ಸ್ಕಾಲರ್‌ಷಿಪ್ ಬಂತು. ಭರ್ತಿ ನೂರು ರೂಪಾಯಿ. ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ಅಮ್ಮನಿಗೆ ಒಂದು ಹೊಸ ಸೀರೆ ತೆಗೆದುಕೊಡೋಣ ಅಂತ ಆಸೆಯಿತ್ತು. ದುಡ್ಡನ್ನು ಅಮ್ಮನಿಗೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟು, 'ಕೆಂಪು ಕಲರ್ದು ಒಂದು ಸೀರೆ ತಗೋಮ್ಮ. ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ನೀನು ಚೆಂದ ಕಾಣ್ತೀಯ' ಅಂದೆ.ಅಷ್ಟಕ್ಕೇ ನನ್ನನ್ನು ಬಾಚಿ ತಪ್ಪಿಕೊಂಡು ಹಣೆಗೆ ಮುತ್ತಿಟ್ಟು, ನಿಂತಲ್ಲೇ ಬಿಕ್ಕಳಿಸಿದಳು ಅಮ್ಮ. ನಂತರ, ಅವತ್ತೇ ಸಂತೆಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ಅಪ್ಪನಿಗೂ ನನಗೂ ಹೊಸ ಬಟ್ಟೆ ತಂದಳು. 'ನಿನಗೆ' ಅಂದಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ ನನಗ್ಯಾಕಪ್ಪ ಬಟ್ಟೆ? ನನಗೆ ಅಂಥ ಆಸೆಯೇನೂ ಇಲ್ಲ ಎಂದು ತೇಲಿಸಿ ಮಾತಾಡಿದಳು. ಅದು ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳಿದ ನಾಲ್ಕನೇ ಸುಳ್ಳು! *ಕೆಲಸ ಮತ್ತು ಕುಡಿತ ಎರಡೂ ವಿಪರೀತ ಇತ್ತಲ್ಲ, ಅದೇ ಕಾರಣದಿಂದ ಅಪ್ಪ ಅದೊಂದು ದಿನ ದಿಢೀರ್ ಸತ್ತು ಹೋದ. ಆಗ ಅಮ್ಮನಿಗೆ ಬರೀ 32 ವರ್ಷ! ಸಂಸಾರದ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಹೊರೆ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಹೆಗಲಿಗೆ ಬಿತ್ತು. ಬಡತನದ ಮಧ್ಯೆ, ಹಸಿವಿನ ಮಧ್ಯೆ, ಹೋರಾಟದ ಮಧ್ಯೆಯೇ ಬದುಕಿದೆವಲ್ಲ, ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ಅಮ್ಮನಿಗೆ ದಾಂಪತ್ಯ ಸುಖ ಅಂದರೆ ಏನೆಂದೇ ಗೊತ್ತಾಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅದನ್ನೇ ಪಾಯಿಂಟ್ ಎಂದಿಟ್ಟುಕೊಂಡ ಬಂಧುಗಳು- 'ಇನ್ನೊಂದು ಮದುವೆ ಮಾಡ್ಕೊಳ್ಳೇ. ನಿಂಗಿನ್ನೂ ಚಿಕ್ಕ ವಯಸ್ಸು. ಗಂಡಿನ ಸಾಂಗತ್ಯ ಬಯಸುವ ವಯಸ್ಸು ಅದು' ಎಂದೆಲ್ಲಾ ಒತ್ತಾಯಿಸಿದರು.'ಇಲ್ಲ. ಇಲ್ಲ. ನನ್ನೆದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಈಗ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಪ್ರೇಮ, ಪ್ರಣಯ ಎಂಬಂಥ ಸೆಂಟಿಮೆಂಟಿಗೆ ಜಾಗವೇ ಇಲ್ಲ' ಅಂದು ದೃಢವಾಗಿಯೇ ಹೇಳಿಬಿಟ್ಟಳಲ್ಲ ಅಮ್ಮ...ನಂಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತು. ಅದು, ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳಿದ ಐದನೇ ಸುಳ್ಳು. *ಓದು ಮುಗಿದದ್ದೇ ತಡ, ನಂಗೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಸಿಕ್ತು. ಸಿಟಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಮನೆ ಮಾಡಿದೆ. ಒಂದಿಷ್ಟು ದುಡ್ಡು ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡೆ. ಅಮ್ಮ ನನಗೋಸ್ಕರ ಪಟ್ಟ ಕಷ್ಟವೆಲ್ಲ ಗೊತ್ತಿತ್ತಲ್ಲ, ಅದೇ ಕಾರಣದಿಂದ, ಈ ಹಣವನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಕೈಗಿಟ್ಟು 'ಇದೆಲ್ಲಾ ನಿನ್ನದು ಅಮ್ಮಾ. ತಗೊಂಡು ಹಾಯಾಗಿರು. ಈಗಿಂದಾನೇ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡೋದು ನಿಲ್ಸು. ಈ ಗುಡಿಸಲಿನಂಥ ಮನೆ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿಗೆ ಬಾ. ನನ್ನ ಜತೇಲೇ ಇದ್ದು ಬಿಡು' ಎಂದೆಲ್ಲಾ ಹೇಳಬೇಕು ಅನ್ನಿಸ್ತು. ಸಡಗರದಿಂದಲೇ ಊರಿಗೆ ಹೋದವನು ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಹೇಳಿದೆ. ಅಷ್ಟೂ ದುಡ್ಡನ್ನು ಅಮ್ಮನ ಮುಂದೆ ಸುರಿದೆ. ಅಮ್ಮ ಅದನ್ನು ನೋಡಲೇ ಇಲ್ಲ ಎಂಬಂತೆ, ಅಷ್ಟನ್ನೂ ತೆಗೆದು ನನ್ನ ಕೈಲಿಟ್ಟು ಹೇಳಿದಳು: 'ಮಗಾ, ನನ್ನತ್ರ ದುಡ್ಡಿದೆ ಕಣಪ್ಪಾ. ಮಡಿಕೆ, ಕುಡಿಕೆಯಲ್ಲೆಲ್ಲ ಅಡಗಿಸಿಟ್ಟಿದೀನಿ ಕಣೋ. ಅದೆಲ್ಲ ಖರ್ಚಾದ ಮೇಲೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಹತ್ರ ಕೇಳ್ತೀನಿ. ಸದ್ಯಕ್ಕಂತೂ ನನಗೆ ದುಡ್ಡಿನ ಅಗತ್ಯಾನೇ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಅದು ಹೌದು, ಅದು ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳಿದ ಆರನೇ ಸುಳ್ಳು. *ಉಹುಂ, ಅಮ್ಮ ನನ್ನ ಯಾವುದೇ ಆಸೆಗೂ ಅಡ್ಡಿ ಬರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಮುಂದೆ ನನ್ನಿಷ್ಟದಂತೆಯೇ ಮದುವೆಯಾಯಿತು. ಶ್ರೀಮಂತರ ಮನೆಯಿಂದ ಬಂದಿದ್ದ ನನ್ನ ಹೆಂಡತಿ ಅಮ್ಮನಿಗೆ ಅಡ್ಜೆಸ್ಟ್ ಆಗಲೇ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಅಮ್ಮನ ಮೇಲೆ ಅವಳದು ದಿನಾಲೂ ಒಂದಲ್ಲ ಒಂದು ದೂರು. ನಿಮ್ಮಲ್ಲಿ ಸುಳ್ಳು ಹೇಳೋದೇಕೆ ಸಾರ್? ಪ್ರಾಯದ ಮದ, ಹೆಂಡತಿ ಮೇಲಿನ ಮೋಹ ನೋಡಿ, ನಾನೂ ಅವಳ ತಾಳಕ್ಕೆ ತಕ್ಕಂತೆಯೇ ಕುಣಿದೆ. ಒಂದೆರಡು ಬಾರಿ ಅಮ್ಮನನ್ನೇ ಗದರಿಸಿಬಿಟ್ಟೆ. ಹೊಂದಾಣಿಕೆ ಮಾಡ್ಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗೋಕ್ಕಾಗಲ್ವ ಎಂದು ರೇಗಿಬಿಟ್ಟೆ. ಅವತ್ತು ಇಡೀ ದಿನ ಅಮ್ಮ ಮಂಕಾಗಿದ್ದಳು. ಆ ದೃಶ್ಯ ಕಂಡದ್ದೇ ನನಗೆ ಕಪಾಲಕ್ಕೆ ಹೊಡೆದಂತಾಯಿತು. 'ಅಮ್ಮಾ. ತಪ್ಪಾಯ್ತು ಕ್ಷಮಿಸು' ಎಂದು ನಾನು ಕೇಳುವ ಮೊದಲೇ-'ನಾನು ಹಳೇ ಕಾಲದ ಹೆಂಗ್ಸು. ತಪ್ಪು ಮಾಡಿಬಿಟ್ಟೆ. ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿಬಿಡ್ರಪ್ಪಾ' ಎಂದ ಅಮ್ಮ 'ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರದೂ ತಪ್ಪಿಲ್ಲ' ಎಂದು ಘೋಷಿಸಿದಳು. ಅದು ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳಿದ ಏಳನೇ ಸುಳ್ಳು. *ಕಾಲ ಅನ್ನೋದು ಕೃಷ್ಣ ಚಕ್ರದ ಥರಾ ಗಿರಗಿರಗಿರಾಂತ ಓಡಿಬಿಡ್ತು. ಅಮ್ಮ ಆಸ್ಪತ್ರೆ ಸೇರಿದ್ದಳು. ದಡಬಡಿಸಿ ಹೋದರೆ 'ನಿಮ್ಮ ತಾಯಿಗೆ ಕ್ಯಾನ್ಸರ್ ಕಣ್ರೀ. ಆಗಲೇ ಫೈನಲ್ ಸ್ಟೇಜ್‌ಗೆ ಬಂದು ಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ತಕ್ಷಣ ಆಸ್ಪತ್ರೆಗೆ ಸೇರಿಸಿ. ಇನ್ನು ಕೆಲವೇ ದಿನ ಅವರು ಬದುಕೋದು. ಆಗಾಗಿ ಹುಶಾರಾಗಿ ನೋಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳಿ ಅಂದ್ರು ಡಾಕ್ಟರ್. ನಾನು ಹೆದರುತ್ತ, ಹೆದರುತ್ತಲೇ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಬಳಿ ಬಂದೆ. ಒಂದು ಕಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಸುರಸುಂದರಿಯಂತಿದ್ದ ಅಮ್ಮ; ತನ್ನ ಪಾಡಿಗೆ ತಾನೇ ಹಾಡು ಹೇಳಿಕೊಂಡು ಡ್ಯಾನ್ಸು ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಅಮ್ಮ; ಮಿಣುಕು ದೀಪದ ಬೆಳಕಲ್ಲಿ ಅಪ್ಸರೆಯಂತೆ ಕಾಣುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಅಮ್ಮ; ದಿನವೂ ನನಗೆ ದೃಷ್ಟಿ ತೆಗೆಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಅಮ್ಮ; ತನ್ನ ಪಾಲಿನ ಊಟವನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ನನಗೇ ಕೊಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಅಮ್ಮ; ಎಲ್ಲ ಸಂಕಟಗಳಿಗೂ ಸವಾಲು ಹಾಕಿ ಗೆದ್ದ ಅಮ್ಮ ಜೀವಚ್ಛವವಾಗಿ ಮಲಗಿದ್ದಳು. ಆಕೆಯ ಕಂಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾಂತಿ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಕಂಬನಿಯೂ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅಮ್ಮನನ್ನು ಆ ಸ್ಥಿತಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನೋಡಿದ್ದೇ ನನಗೆ ಕಣ್ತುಂಬಿ ಬಂತು. ಆಕೆಯನ್ನು ಕಡೆಗಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ನೋಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳಲಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂಬ ಗಿಲ್ಟ್ ಕಾಡಿತು. ತಕ್ಷಣವೇ, ಅದು ಆಸ್ಪತ್ರೆ ಎಂಬುದನ್ನೂ ಮರೆತು ಜೋರಾಗಿ ಬಿಕ್ಕಳಿಸಿದೆ. ತಕ್ಷಣವೇ, ನಡುಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಕೈಗಳಿಂದ ನನ್ನ ಕಂಬನಿ ತೊಡೆದ ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳಿದಳು: ನಂಗೇನೂ ಆಗಿಲ್ಲ ಕಂದಾ, ಅಳಬೇಡ. ನಂಗೇನೂ ಆಗಿಲ್ಲ. ಅದು, ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳಿದ ಕೊನೆಯ ಸುಳ್ಳು!

An article shared by our community member.

Valentines day special jokes and greetings

Valentine day special :

'I love you' is  a mathematical function where, 

 'I love' - is constant and
'you' - is a variable..

😄😛😂

*********

Husband to wife: janu is valantine pe me tumhe white color ka flower dunga..

Wife: oho darling pehle  to aap red color ka rose dete the is baar white ka kyu?

Husbnd: sweet heart pehle me tumse prem ki asha rkhta tha ab shanti ki asha rkhata hu😉😉🤑😛😝😝😜😜

*********

💃The secret of a long and happy marriage!
 
At The Murugan Temple in East-ham, London, they have weekly husband's marriage seminars.

At the session last week, the priest asked one Muthusamy, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, ‘‘to take a few minutes and share some insight secret how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years’’.

Muthusamy replied to the assembled husbands, "Well, I've tried to treat her nice, spend money on her, bought her enough jewellery and sarees, but best of all is, I took her to Chennai, India for the 25th anniversary!"

The priest responded, ‘‘Muthusamy, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning, for your
wife for your 50th anniversary?’’

Muthusamy proudly replied, “I’m going back 





to Chennai to pick her up."
😆😆😆🍀
*********

Girl to shopkeeper : Bhaiya aap ke paas aisa
valentine card hai jisme likha ho. 'U R MY 1st
and would be my Last LOVE..? 

Shopkeeper :
Haan Hai..! 

Girl :Theek hai.. 




Paanch de do..😀😀😂😂😂

*********

I met my friend Richa , a smart lawyer, at the post office.  

She was posting about 4 dozen cards. 

I asked her what was the occasion?

She said that these were Valentine cards and signed as "Guess Who" and sent to all the married men in and around her society.
She said that last year she had posted about 2 dozen and was lucky to have about 4 divorce cases.

So this time she wanted to increase her biz. 😜😝😝

*********

wife:Nanu Tappiskondre Niven Madtira?
hus:News Paperge Jahiratu Kodtini
wife:So sweet! Adrali Yenanta Baritira?
hus: Yelle iru, Hege iru, 
Please
Alle iru.😂😂😂

*********

These all are best moments of love.....don't miss them in life. 

Love is not only having a bf or gf. 

Love you all who have been a special part of my life...........

Its love, 
when a little girl puts her energy to give dad a head massage.

Its love, 
when a wife makes tea for husband and take a sip before him.

Its love, 
when a mother gives her son the best piece of cake. 

Its love, 
when ur friend holds your hand tightly on a slippery
road.

Its love, 
when your brother messages you and asks did you reach home on time..

Love 💕 is not just a guy holding a girl and going around the city.

Love when you send a small msg to your friends to make them smile

 Luv 💕 is actually a name of "care"..

*********

Valentines special SQL query: for Guys :-
Select * from Earth where Girl = 'Single'  and status ='Available';
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
(0 row(s) affected)
😂😂😂😂

Valentines special SQL query for Girls: 

Select * from Earth where Boy= 'Single' and status = 'Available' ;
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
System.outOfMemory.exception

Too many rows to handle
😂😂😂😂

*********

A man got a call from unknown number..
Girl: Hi, wish u very happy Valentine's day...are you single?
Man: Yes...Yes who are you?
Answer: Your wife!
Aaj ghar aa...phir batati hu..
☀☀☀☀
( couple of hours , He gets Another call from unknown number)
Girl: Are you married?
Man: Yes, but who are you?
Girl: Your girlfriend, you fraud...you cheat.
Man: Sorry baby, I thought it was my wife..
Ans: Wife hi hoon, aaj tum bas ghar aajao...😝

*********


BBMP Khatha application / transfer form and Acknowledgement

In this post , we share a sample form of BBMP khatha application / transfer application form and acknowledgement - for the information of Bengalureans who are new to 'Khatha'

Many of us know what is Khatha and need of Khatha . We had also published an article in our blog on the same. Especially for a purchaser , there is lot of curiosity regarding how to apply for a khatha transfer to change the account from actual owner account to his/her new account.

In Kannada Khatha means an Account - and it really is a account. An account is created by the district authority for property owners and is used for maintaining and tracking Tax deposits and payments. In reality under Karnataka Municipality Council (KMC) rules there is no separate definition for Khatha - but for granting certain permissions for building & development activities it is required. It has the details of the property's owner , address/location , dimensions. It is a necessary document if one has to get a Bank Loan , to take licence for Electricity , Water , for resale etc. In Bengaluru , Khatha documents are maintained and tracked by BBMP.

Know more about khatha in our article : A Khatha , B Khatha


Sample application for Khatha registration or transfer is as below. One needs to buy this application in BBMP ward offices at a nominal charge of Rs.10 . Along with the application , khatha transfer fees of 2% of their registration stamp duty should be paid.





On submission or acceptance of your application , an acknowledgment is returned by BBMP official through a acknowledgement format as in below snap. Once the application is processed , within 3-4 weeks - one may apply for a khatha certificate.



SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 64

Sweetness of Sour Oranges
He often bought oranges from an old lady. After they were weighed, paid for and put in his bag, he would always pick one from his bag, peel it, put a segment in his mouth, complain it's sour and pass on the orange to the seller. The old lady would put one segment in her mouth and retort, "why, it's sweet," but by then he was gone with his bag. His wife, always with him, asked, "the oranges are always sweet, then why this drama every time?" He smiled, "the old mother sells sweet oranges but never eats them herself. This way I get her to eat one, without losing her money. That's all." The vegetable seller next to the old lady, saw this everyday. She chided, "every time this man fusses over your oranges, and I see that you always weigh a few extra for him. Why?" The old lady smiled, "I know he does this to feed me an orange, only, he thinks I don't understand. I never weigh extra. His love tilts the scale slightly every time." Life's joys are in these sweet little gestures of love and respect for our fellow beings. And in giving, not usurping. Not in money. *******

Chitragupta's problem :
😩😩😩

One day  Chitragupta told Bramha that he should stop this scheme that if ladies keep Karva Chauth...they will get the same  husband for the next 7 janmas. 
😕😕😕

Brahma asked, ”Why”❓
😕😕😕

Chitragupta : .Sir, its becoming difficult to manage...
The wife want the same 
 Husband  👨 and the husband  want a new wife💃
Its a problem to convince both.
😩😩😩

Bramha : But this can’t be stopped...
It’s been going on since times immemorial.
😕😕😕
Just then Narada  comes and he suggested...
On earth, there is a great person called " Chanakya" 👳
Ask him for a solution.

(Chitragupta meets "Chanakya")

In one minute "Chanakya" solves the problem...😎

he advised .Chitragupta..
Any  wife who wants the same ..husband... tell her that, 
she will also get the same  "MOTHER IN LAW".         for the next 7 lives  💀😖👹

All women screamed "oh god no!!!" 
😡😡😳😳😩😩😕😕🙆🙆

Problem solved😜😜😜

*********

A man woke up in the morning deeply repentant  after a bitter fight with his wife the previous night. He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight. 
He took it outside and started smashing  the empty bottles one by one onto the wall.
He smashed the first bottle swearing, "you are the reason I fight with  my wife".
He smashed the second bottle, "you are the reason I don't love my children".
He smashed the third bottle, "you are the reason I don't have a decent job".
When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still sealed and was full. He hesitated  for only a moment and said "you stand aside, I know you were not involved".
🍻 😂
Men will be men😝

*********

Welcome cup Tea... very touching...

A group of 15 solders led by a Major were on their way to the post in Himalayans where they would be deployed for the next 3 months. The batch who would  be relieved waiting anxiously.

It was cold winter & intermittent snowfall made the treacherous climb more difficult.

If someone could offer a cup of tea. . the major thought, knowing it was a futile wish..

They continued for an hour before they came across a dilapidated structure, which looked like a tea shop but locked. It was late in the night. 

"No tea boys, bad luck", said the major. But he suggested all take some rest there as they have been walking for 3 hours.
"Sir, this is a tea shop and we can make tea... We will have to break the lock", suggested one solder.

The officer was in great dilemma to the unethical suggestion but the thought of a steaming cup of tea for the tired solders made him to give the permission.

They were in luck, the place had everything needed to make tea and also packets of biscuits.
The solders had tea & biscuits and  were ready for the remaining journey.

The major thought, they had broken open lock and had tea & biscuits without the permission of the owner. But they're not a band of thieves but disciplined soldiers. 
He took out a Rs 1000/- note from his wallet, placed it on the  counter, pressed under sugar container, so that the owner can see.

The officer was now relieved of his guilt. He ordered to put the shutter down and proceed.

Three months passed, they continued to  do gallantly in their works and were lucky not to loose anyone from the group in the intense insurgency situation.
It was time for another team to replace them.

 Soon they were on their way back and stopped at the same tea shop which was open and owner was present in the shop.
The owner an old man will meager resources was very happy to greet 15 customers. 

All of them had tea and biscuits. They talked to the old man about his life and  experience specially selling tea at such a remote place.

The old man had many stories to tell, replete with his faith in God. 
"Oh, Baba, if God is there, why should He keep you in such poverty?", commented one of them.

"Do not say  like that Sahib! God actually is there, I got a proof 3 months ago."
"I was going through very tough times because my only son had been severely beaten by terrorist who wanted some information from him which he did not have. I had closed my shop to take my son to hospital. Some medicines were to be purchased and I had no money. No one would give 
me loan for fear of the terrorists. There was no hope, Sahib".

"And that day Sahib, I prayed to God for help. And Sahib, God walked into my shop that day."
"When I returned to my shop, I found lock broken, I felt I was finished, I lost whatever little I had. But then I saw that God had left Rs 1000/ under the sugar pot. I can't tell you Sahib what that money was worth that day. God exists Sahib. He does."

The faith in his eyes were unflinching.
Fifteen pairs of eyes met the eyes of the officer and read the order in his eyes clear and unambiguous, "Keep quiet".

The officer got up and paid the bill. He hugged the old man and said, "Yes Baba, I know God does exist. And yes, the tea was wonderful."

The the 15 pairs of eyes did not miss to notice the moisture building up in the eyes of their officer, a rare sight.

The truth is u can be God to anyone.

*********

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room . The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.


A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.

This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experience stopped the bus. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his
injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first  occasion but died instantly the second time??



Okay........ here is the Answer............

During the first  time the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the second time, he was a good conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he died !!!! Physics never go wrong....

Don't look  at me!! I am also looking for the Person😂 who sent me this...😜😛

*********



SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 63

Boy in Bangalore: I want to transfer my single bed to a place 10 km away in bangalore. The bed is not fitting in my car and movers and packers is asking for a price equal to price of bed. What shud i do?
IT employee: Sell it on quikr and buy it again on quikr from the new address.
Quikr will transport it for free and also give u Paytm cashback😂😂😂

*********

🌸🌸🌸Fantastic Lines by Mother Teresa 🌸🌸🌸

🌸If your Eyes are Positive, You will Love the World. But if Your Tongue is Positive, The World will Love you.🌸
🌸A woman's love is in her action. She looks with her heart and feels with her eyes.🌸
🌸A woman is the bank where her family deposits all anger, worries and hurt. 🌸
🌸A woman is the cement that keeps her family together and her love lasts a lifetime.🌸

🌸🌸Send this to every beautiful woman you know🌸🌸...

*********
Someone asked : 

”What is forgiveness ? ” 

A little boy gave lovely reply , it is the wonderful fruit that a tree gives when it is being hurt by a stone .

*********
A great story for any group !!

The Fable of Porcupines
.
It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.
.
The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. 
.
This way they covered & protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other & they began to die, alone & frozen. 
.
So they had to make a choice.. 
.
Either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together.
.
They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the warmth & heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.
.
The best group is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others & can admire the other person's good qualities. 
.
Better to be surrounded by warm pricks than be frozen in solitude!!!!!!

*********

Someone asked  Acharya Chanakya - What is Poison?
He replied with a beautiful answer - Anything which is more than our necessity is Poison. It may be Power, Wealth, Hunger, Ego, Greed, Laziness, Love, Ambition, Hate or anything
What is fear.....?
Unacceptance of uncertainty.
If we accept that uncertainty,
it becomes adventure...!

What is envy ?
Unacceptance of good in others
If we accept that good, it becomes inspiration...!

What is Anger?
Unacceptance of things which are beyond our control.
If we accept, it becomes tolerance...!

What is hatred?
Unacceptance of person as he is. 
If we accept person unconditionally, it becomes love...!

It's a matter of acceptance.

Resistance creates stress...  

Acceptance does away with stress ...

*********

A Psychologist walked around a room while teaching Stress Management to an audience.

As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "Half empty or Half full" question.

Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired:
"How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long I hold it.

If I hold it for a minute,
it's not a problem.

If I hold it for an hour,
I'll have an ache in my arm.

If I hold it for a day,
my arm will feel numb and paralyzed.

In each case,
the weight of the glass doesn't change,

But

The longer I hold it,
the heavier it becomes.

She continued,
"The Stresses and Worries in Life , are like that Glass of Water...

Think about them for a while and nothing happens.

Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt.

And

If you think about them all day long,
you will feel paralyzed –
incapable of doing anything....!!!"

Remember to put the Glass Down

******


SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 62

Wife :  Hubby ! 
           Monday shopping 
Tuesday hotel Wednesday outing Thursday dinner Friday movie Saturday picnic How fun it'll be ☺ Husband : ya Then on Sunday to temple Wife : Y ??😶😶😶😶😶😶 Husband : For begging . 😛😆😅😛😆😅😛😆😅😛😆😅 *********

Who is poor? Worth reading. 

A wealthy woman goes to a saree store and tells the boy at the counter "Bhaiya show some cheap sarees. It is my son's marriage and I have to give to my maid."

After sometime, the maid comes to the saree shop and tells the boy at the counter "Bhaiya show some expensive sarees. I want to gift my Mistress on her son's marriage"

Poverty is in the mind or in the purse?

Who is Rich?

Once, a lady with her family was staying in a 3-star hotel for a picnic. She was the mother of a 6 month old baby.
"Can I get 1 cup of milk?" asked the lady to the 3-star hotel manager.
"Yes madam", he replied.
"But it will cost 100 bucks". "No problem", said the lady.
While driving back from hotel, the child was hungry again.
They stopped at a road side tea stall and took milk from the tea vendor
"How much?” she asked the tea vendor.
"Madam, we don't charge money for kid's milk", the old man said with a smile.
"Let me know if you need more for the journey". The lady took one more cup and left.
She wondered, "Who’s richer? The hotel manager or the old tea vendor?

Sometimes, in the race for more money, we forget that we are all humans. Let's help someone in need, without expecting something in return. It will make us feel better than what money can.
Coffee never knew that it would taste so nice and sweet, before it met milk and sugar.
We are good as individuals but become better when we meet and blend with the right people....

Stay connected.

"The world is full of nice people... If you can't find one... Be one.😃

*********

This is Brilliant:

I don't think I've ever heard a concept explained scientifically better than this...

"Well you see, it's like this...

A herd of buffalos can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo? 🐃🐃🐃

And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. 🐃🐃🐃🐅 

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only work as fast as the slowest brain cells. 

Now, as we know,excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells.

But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of alcohol eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.🌐

And that's why you always feel smarter after a few drinks....,

🍺🍻🍺🍻
👌Awesome message dedicated to all the "Spirit"uals 😹😅😹🍻

*********
A young man in his thirties used to stand on the footpath opposite the famous Tata Cancer Hospital at Mumbai and stare at the crowd in front- fear plainly written upon the faces of the patients standing at death's door; their  relatives with equally grim faces running around.. These sights disturbed him greatly..

Most of the patients were poor people from distant towns. They had no idea whom to meet, or what to do. They had no money for medicines, not even food.

The  young man, heavily depressed, would return home. 'Something should be done for these people', he would. think. He was haunted by the thought day and night. 

At last he found a way-
He rented out his own hotel that was doing good business and raised some money. From these funds he started a charitable activity right opposite Tata Cancer Hospital, on the pavement next to Kondaji Building.

He himself had no idea that the activity would continue to flourish even after the passage of 27 years.

The activity consisted of providing free meals for cancer patients and their relatives. Many people in the vicinity approved of this activity. 

Beginning with fifty, the number of beneficiaries soon rose to hundred, two hundred, three hundred. As the numbers of patients increased, so did the number of helping hands.

As years rolled by, the activity continued; undeterred by the change of seasons, come winter, summer or even the dreaded monsoon of Mumbai. 

The number of beneficiaries soon reached 700. Mr Harakhchand Sawla, for that was the name of the pioneer, did not stop here. He started supplying free medicines for the needy. In fact, he started a medicine bank, enlisting voluntary services of three doctors and three pharmacists. A toy banks was opened for kids suffering from cancer. The 'Jeevan Jyot' trust founded by Mr Sawla now runs more than 60 humanitarian  projects.

 Sawla, now 57 years old, works with the same vigour. A thousand salutes to his boundless energy and his monumental contribution!

There are people in this country who look upon Sachin Tendulkar as 'God'- for playing 200 test matches in 20 years, few hundred one day matches, and scoring100 centuries and 30,000 runs. 

But hardly anyone knows Harakhchand Sawla, leave alone call him 'God' for feeding free lunches to 10 to 12 lac cancer patients and their relatives. We owe this discrepancy to our mass media! 

For last 27 years, millions of cancer patients and their relatives have found 'God', in the form of Harakhchand Sawla.

As you forward interesting jokes and poems instantly, do forward this message. 

Mr Sawla deserves his fair share of recognition, more  importantly, let his story inspire as many as possible.

******
Breaking news

 ಬೈಕ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಇಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ. 
ಒಂದು ಹೆಲ್ಮೆಟ್ ಕಳವು. 

ಪ್ರಿಯತಮೆಯನ್ನು  
ನಂದಿ ಬೆಟ್ಟದಲ್ಲೇ
 ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಬಂದ ಪ್ರಿಯಕರ.

💔ಲವ್ ಕಟ್💔

*********

On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.

Telugu Guy: "Hello, May I know your name please?"

James Bond: "The name is Bond..."

Continuing in his inimitable style, "......James Bond."

Then Bond asks: "And you?"

Telugu Guy: "The  name is Rao...Siva Rao...

Samba Siva Rao...

Venkata Samba Siva Rao...

Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...

Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...

Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...

Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao..."

Since then when anyone asks Bond his name- he simply says "James"

😀

*********

This is ultimate...😝😝😝😂😂😜😜😜

Wife (asking in a loving tone): "Honey, Will you build 'Taj Mahal' for me."?


Husband: "I have already purchased the land. The delay is from your side only...!!!"

😜😝😂😆

********* 
ಬದುಕು ಮೂರು ದಿನದ ಆಟ

ಬಾಲ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಕೊಂಡಾಟ
ಯೌವನದಲ್ಲಿ ದುಡ್ಡಿನ ಹಿಂದೆ ಓಟ
ಎಲ್ಲ ಬೇಕುಗಳ ಹಿಂದೆ ಜೂಟಾಟ
ಮುದಿತನಕ್ಕೆ ಆರೋಗ್ಯದ ಪೀಕಲಾಟ..

ಜೀವ ಹೋದ ಮೇಲೆ
ಆಪ್ತರ ಗೋಳಾಟ
ಗಂಟಿದ್ದರೆ ನೆಂಟರ ರಂಪಾಟ
ಇಲ್ದಿದ್ರೆ ಮನೆಯವರ ಜಂಜಾಟ..

ಕೊನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ.....
ಊರಿಗೊಂದು ಊಟ
ಮನೆಗೊಂದು ಫೋಟ....

Know your Heart - A chat with Heart specialists

A chat with Dr.Devi Shetty, Narayana Hrudayalaya (Heart Specialist) Bangalore was arranged by WIPRO for its employees. The transcript of the chat is given below. Useful for everyone.

Qn1. What are the thumb rules for a layman to take care of his heart?
Ans:
1. Diet - Less of carbohydrate, more of protein, less oil
2. Exercise - Half an hour's walk, at least five days a week;
avoid lifts and
avoid sitting for a longtime
3. Quit smoking
4. Control weight
5. Control BP - Blood pressure and Sugar

Qn2. Can we convert fat into muscles?
Ans: It is a dangerous myth. Fat and muscles are made of two different tissues, fat is fat ... Ugly and harmful... Muscle is muscle. Fat can never be converted into a muscle.

Qn3. It's still a grave shock to hear that some apparently healthy person
gets a cardiac arrest. How do we understand it in perspective?
Ans: This is called silent attack; that is why we recommend everyone past the age of 30 to undergo routine health checkups.

Qn4. Are heart diseases hereditary?
Ans: Yes

Qn5. What are the ways in which the heart is stressed? What practices do you suggest to de-stress?
Ans: Change your attitude towards life. Do not look for perfection in everything in life.

Qn6. Is walking better than jogging or is more intensive exercise required to keep a healthy heart?
Ans: Walking is better than jogging, since jogging leads to early fatigue and injury to joints

Qn7. You have done so much for the poor and needy. What has inspired you to do so?
Ans: Mother Theresa, who was my patient.

Qn8. Can people with low blood pressure suffer heart diseases?
Ans: Extremely rare.

Qn9. Does cholesterol accumulates right from an early age (I'm currently only 22) or do you have to worry about it only after you are above 30 years of age?
Ans: Cholesterol accumulates from childhood.

Qn10. How do irregular eating habits affect the heart ?
Ans: You tend to eat junk food when the habits are irregular and your body's enzyme release for digestion gets confused.

Qn11. How can I control cholesterol content without using medicines?
Ans: Control diet, walk and eat walnut.

Qn12. Which is the best and worst food for the heart?
Ans: Fruits and vegetables are the best and oils the worst.

Qn13. Which oil is better - groundnut, sunflower, olive?
Ans: All oils are bad.

Qn14. What is the routine checkup one should go through? Is there any specific test?
Ans: Routine blood test to ensure sugar, cholesterol is ok. Check BP, Treadmill test after an echo.

Qn15. What are the first aid steps to be taken on a heart attack?
Ans: Help the person into a sleeping position, place an aspirin tablet under the tongue with a sorbitrate tablet if available, and rush him to a coronary care unit, since the maximum casualty takes place within the first hour.

Qn16. How do you differentiate between pain caused by a heart attack and that caused due to gastric trouble?
Ans: Extremely difficult without ECG.

Qn17. What is the main cause of a steep increase in heart problems amongst youngsters? I see people of about 30-40 yrs of age having heart attacks and serious heart problems.
Ans: Increased awareness has increased incidents. Also, sedentary lifestyles, smoking, junk food, lack of exercise in a country where people are genetically three times more vulnerable for heart attacks than Europeans and Americans.

Qn18. Is it possible for a person to have BP outside the normal range of 120/80 and yet be perfectly healthy?
Ans: Yes.

Qn19. Marriages within close relatives can lead to heart problems for the child. Is it true?
Ans : Yes, co-sanguinity leads to congenital abnormalities and you may NOT have a software engineer as a child

Qn20. LMany of us have an irregular daily routine and many a times we have to stay late nights in office. Does this affect our heart? What precautions would you recommend?
Ans : When you are young, nature protects you against all these irregularities. However, as yougrow older, respect the biological clock.

Qn21. Will taking anti-hypertensive drugs cause some other complications (short/long term)?
Ans : Yes, most drugs have some side effects. However, modern anti-hypertensive drugs are extremely safe.

Qn22. Will consuming more coffee/tea lead to heart attacks?
Ans : No.

Qn23. Are asthma patients more prone to heart disease?
Ans : No.

Qn24. How would you define junk food?
Ans : Fried food like Kentucky , McDonalds , Samosas, and even Masala Dosas.

Qn25. You mentioned that Indians are three times more vulnerable. What is the reason for this, as Europeans and Americans also eat a lot of junk food?
Ans: Every race is vulnerable to some disease and unfortunately, Indians are vulnerable for the most expensive disease.

Qn26. Does consuming bananas help reduce hypertension?
Ans: No.

Qn27. Can a person help himself during a heart attack (Because we see a lot of forwarded e-mails on this)?
Ans: Yes. Lie down comfortably and put anaspirin tablet of any description under the tongue and ask someone to take you to the nearest coronary care unit without any delay and do not wait for the ambulance since most of the time, the ambulance does not turn up.

Qn28. Do, in any way, low white blood cells and low hemoglobin count lead to heart problems?
Ans: No. But it is ideal to have normal hemoglobin level to increase your exercise capacity.

Qn29. Sometimes, due to the hectic schedule we are not able to exercise. So, does walking while doing daily chores at home or climbing the stairs in the house, work as a substitute for exercise?
Ans : Certainly. Avoid sitting continuously for more than half an hour and even the act of getting out of the chair and going to another chair and sitting helps a lot.

Qn30. Is there a relation between heart problems and blood sugar?
Ans: Yes. A strong relationship since diabetics are more vulnerable to heart attacks than non-diabetics.

Qn31. What are the things one needs to take care of after a heart operation?
Ans : Diet, exercise, drugs on time , Control cholesterol, BP, weight.

Qn32. Are people working on night shifts more vulnerable to heart disease when compared to day shift workers?
Ans : No.

Qn33. What are the modern anti-hypertensive drugs?
Ans: There are hundreds of drugs and your doctor will chose the right combination for your problem, but my suggestion is to avoid the drugsand go for natural ways of controlling blood pressure by walk, diet to reduce weight and changing attitudes towards lifestyles.

Qn34. Does dispirin or similar headache pills increase the risk of heart attacks?
Ans : No.

Qn35. Why is the rate of heart attacks more in men than in women?
Ans: Nature protects women till the age of 45. (Present Global census show that the Percentage of heart disease in women has increased than in men ) 

Qn36. How can one keep the heart in a good condition?
Ans: Eat a healthy diet, avoid junk food, exercise everyday, do not smoke and, go for health checkups if you are past the age of 30 ( once in six months recommended) .... 

Please, don't hoard knowledge. 
It takes sharing of knowledge to discover and understand the world in which we live.
Please send it to all your friends and relatives....... They might benefit as well...

- An article shared by our community member

SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 61

In Hollywood :- And the Oscar goes to..
In Bollywood :- And the Sansui Colors Stardust Pan Parag Award powered by Amba TMT Saria and Asli Masale SachSach MDH MDH goes to.. 😂😂😝😝😝😄😄 ********* A Construction Supervisor from 16th Floor of a Building was calling a Worker on Ground Floor. Because of noise the Worker did not hear his Call. To draw Attention, the Supervisor threw a 10 Rupee Note in Front of Worker. He picked up the Note, put it in His Pocket and Continued to Work. Again to Draw Attention the Supervisor threw 500 Rupee Note and the Worker did the same, Now the Supervisor picked a small Stone and threw on the Worker. The Stone hit the Worker. This time the Worker looked Up and the Supervisor Communicated with Him. . . This Story is same as to our 'LIFE'... God wants to Communicate with Us, but We are Busy doing our Worldly Jobs. Then, he give Us Small Gifts and Big Gifts...... We just keep them without looking from Where We Got it. We are the Same. Just keeping the gifts without Thanking him, We just say We are LUCKY. And when we are Hit with a Small Stone, which We call PROBLEMS, then only We look Up and Communicate with him. Thats why it is said. ..... He gives, gives and forgives And We get, get and forget....... Nice story to be shared👌👌👌👌👌👌 ********* Must read - fantastic A lawyer yesterday argued in Supreme Court that if physical relation with wife, without her consent, is termed as rape then....... Shopping without husband's consent should b termed as Robbery..... The judge is still unconscious....... 😜😜😜😜 ********* बेटी से माँ का सफ़र (बहुत खूबसूरत पंक्तिया , सभी महिलाओ को समर्पित) बेटी से माँ का सफ़र बेफिक्री से फिकर का सफ़र रोने से चुप कराने का सफ़र उत्सुकत्ता से संयम का सफ़र पहले जो आँचल में छुप जाया करती थी । आज किसी को आँचल में छुपा लेती हैं । पहले जो ऊँगली पे गरम लगने से घर को उठाया करती थी । आज हाथ जल जाने पर भी खाना बनाया करती हैं । छोटी छोटी बातों पे रो जाया करती थी बड़ी बड़ी बातों को मन में रखा करती हैं । पहले दोस्तों से लड़ लिया करती थी । आज उनसे बात करने को तरस जाती हैं । माँ कह कर पूरे घर में उछला करती थी । माँ सुन के धीरे से मुस्कुराया करती हैं । 10 बजे उठने पर भी जल्दी उठ जाना होता था । आज 7 बजे उठने पर भी लेट हो जाता हैं । खुद के शौक पूरे करते करते ही साल गुजर जाता था । आज खुद के लिए एक कपडा लेने में आलस आ जाता हैं । पूरे दिन फ्री होके भी बिजी बताया करते थे । अब पूरे दिन काम करके भी फ्री कहलाया करते हैं । साल की एक एग्जाम के लिए पूरे साल पढ़ा करते थे। अब हर दिन बिना तैयारी के एग्जाम दिया करते हैं । ना जाने कब किसी की बेटी किसी की माँ बन गई । कब बेटी से माँ के सफ़र में तब्दील हो गई ..... 😊😊😊 Dedicated to all beautiful ladies😊😊 ********* Very nice article .. must read: The below article is written by a lady Mrs. Chithra vishwanathan, who's a famous Cooking expert... Really a good read! When my daughter, d elder one of my two children got married and left the house, I felt as if I could not let her leave me.. Having a daughter and a son, I know what both mean, but differently .. Once my daughter reached her teens I had started feeling as if my daughter was a "physical extension" of me ! So when she was leaving home to set up her own nest, it was as though I was losing a limb... The next time she came for a short stay with us, I was astonished how her priorities had changed. ( ofcourse we must have given the same shocks to our own parents ! ). When she said Amma, she meant her MIL and not me! I imagined that she was always in a hurry to go back to her house and not stay with me for a few more days.. That was the first time, it dawned on me that I have to start practising detachment in attachment... Two years after my daughter’s marriage, my son left for higher stdies to U S. Having experienced a child's separation once, I was better equipped emotionally. I plunged head long into various classes held in the city starting from vedanta to healing to ikebana - I just wanted to be away from home.. since my husband was a 7-7 worker and a workaholic. My son used to write how he was missing my home cooked food, how he was waiting to come back to live in Chennai with us etc... After a few years, he did come back and we got him married. He started living separately with his wife and we were also happy that they wanted to be independant from the beginning... But now, it was all changed ! When in the U S, he missed my cooking, now if I called him to come over with his wife for a meal, it was always some excuse like " oh, amma, we have other plans for the day, please don't mistake us if we don't drop in today " ! I could see that his priorities had also changed completely.. We talk in theory so many things and give advice to others etc but when it comes to your own children, acceptance comes very late and next step is just leaving them undisturbed in every way, - mainly without advice from our end. It was at that time, I made the following lines as my " new profile": In all my relationships , rather interactions , I give my best. I work hard to mature and cherish them. My attachment with them is complete. However , I remain detached in the sense that I do not expect them to reciprocate my affection. Most importantly , I make a conscious effort , not to interfere or pass judgements on the lives they choose to lead. My concern for my near and dear ones will not fade with my detachment. If you let go of the ones you love , they will never go away – this is the beauty of attachment with detachment ! I have learnt to love and let go. This dictum has developed tolerance in me. When I let the people live the way they want to , I learn to accept them for what they are. Most importantly , I learn to tolerate the world around me and this tolerance brings in me a sense of peace and contentment. I ask God to guide me in being loving , compassionate , tolerant and understanding when I interact with others. If a person wants to share a thought or concern with me I want that person to feel comfortable to do so. I want to remain peaceful and approachable to others. Before I speak , I pray to God to give me the right words so that I express myself clearly and with consideration to others. Since both my children live in Chennai, I follow this very strictly, you know why ! Now I have realized that we start growing mentally much more only after the children leave the house and we have to tackle the emotional vacuum, that arises, along with age-related problems . I find this is the most testing period for a woman, as well and emerging successfully is a slow process. I specially dedicate this post to my friends, who are totally dependant on their children's lives, to nurture their own selves emotionally. Please develop your own intersts, hobbies etc, however mundane they seem to be.. We must learn To love whatever we do instead of Doing whatever we love !! *********

SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 60


This is a killer  I could not stop laughing and I am still laughing -- Great stress buster  

Sardar to Librarian: l want a book named "Psycho The Rapist"
. The Librarian searched for 3 hrs then came back & Slapped the Sardar & said Idiot the book name is "Psychotherapist" ......😜😜😝😝😁😁😁😖😖😖

*********

Outstanding!! Can't even argue with this logic..

Husband : I love you!!!

Wife : I love you too, infact I love you so much I will fight the whole world for you..

Husband : But you fight with me the most..

Wife : Because you are the world to me!!!

*********

Employee 1 : Bhai need ur support.........
She is online n said "I love you"...

 Kya karu? 



Employee 2 : Bhai... Sabse pehle screen shot le...

Documentation bahut jaruri hai...

*********

Dr. Drobkin was a world-famous cardiologist who earned his undergraduate, graduate, and medical degrees in his hometown and then left for Manhattan where he quickly rose to the top of his field.

Soon he was invited to deliver a significant paper, at a conference held in his hometown. He walked on stage, placed his papers on the lectern, but they slid off onto the floor.

As he bent over to retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he inadvertently farted. The microphone amplified his mistake resoundingly through the lecture room and reverberated it down the hall! He was quite embarrassed but somehow regained his composure just enough to deliver his paper. He ignored the resounding applause and raced out the stage door, never to be seen in his hometown again.

Decades later, when his elderly mother was ill, he returned to visit her. He reserved a hotel room under the name of Cohen and arrived under cover of darkness.

The desk clerk asked him, "Is this your first visit to our city, Mr. Cohen?"

Dr. Drobkin replied, "Well, young man, no, it isn't. I grew up here, received my education here, but then moved away."

"Why haven't you visited?" asked the desk clerk.

"Actually, I did visit once, many years ago, but an embarrassing thing happened and since then I've been too ashamed to return."

The clerk consoled him, "Sir, while I don't have your life experience, one thing I have learned is that often what seems embarrassing to me isn't even remembered by others. I bet that's true of your incident too."

Dr. Drobkin replied, "Son, I doubt that's the case with my embarrassment."

"Was it a long time ago?"

"Yes, many years."

The clerk asked, "Was it before or after the Drobkin Fart?"

*********
😊Beautiful letter written by a father & mother to his son & daughter 👌

After reading you must send to your children without fail.

Following is a letter to his son from a renowned Hong Kong TV broadcaster and a Child Psychologist.

The words are actually applicable to all of us, young or old, children or parents.! 

All parents can use this in their teachings to their children.

Dear son & daughter

We are writing this to you because of 3 (three) reasons:

1. Life, fortune and mishaps are unpredictable, nobody knows how long he lives. Some words are better said early.

2. We are your parents, and if we don't tell you these, no one else will.

3. What is written is our own personal bitter experiences that perhaps could save you a lot of unnecessary heartaches. Remember the following as you go through life

1. Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well, except your mother & I. 
To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and ALSO you have to be cautious, because, everyone has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you, it does not mean he really likes you. You have to be careful, don't hastily regard him as a real friend.

2. No one is indispensable, nothing is in the world that you must possess. 
Once you understand this idea, it would be easier for you to go through life when people around you don't want you anymore, or when you lose what/who you love the most.

3. Life is short. 
When you waste your life today, tomorrow you would find that life is leaving you. The earlier you treasure your life, the better you enjoy life.

4. Love is but a transient feeling, and this feeling would fade with time and with one's mood. If your so called loved one leaves you, be patient, time will wash away your aches and sadness. 
Don't over exaggerate the beauty and sweetness of love, and don't over exaggerate the sadness of falling out of love.

5. A lot of successful people did not receive a good education, that does not mean that you can be successful by not studying hard! Whatever knowledge you gain is your weapon in life. 
One can go from rags to riches, but one has to start from some rags!

6. I do not expect you to financially support me when I am old, neither  would I financially support your whole life. My responsibility as a supporter ends when you are grown up. After that, you decide whether  you want to travel in a public transport or in your limousine, whether rich or poor.

7. You honour your words, but don't expect others to be so. You can be good to people, but don't expect people to be good to you. If you don't understand this, you would end up with unnecessary troubles.

8. I have bought for umpteen years, but I could never strike any prize. That shows if you want to be rich, you have to work hard! There is no free lunch!

9. No matter how much time we have with you, let's treasure the time we have together. We do not know if we would meet again in our next life.

     Your Dad and Mom

Read it twice
Ask your son and daughter to read it thrice.

Worth a read.
May God Bless all of us.


*********

Someone asked Sri Ravi Shankar How to develop our personality ?

Sri Ravi Shankar:
To develop your personality, you have to spend five days to have these five experiences to really blossom in your life.
You can develop your personality with these five experiences.
You have to sincerely play these five roles:

1. The first role which I would recommend to you is to be a School Teacher.
To teach lessons to children who are not learning, you need a lot of patience.
Being a nursery or primary school teacher, even for one day, you will see how you have to increase your patience.

2. Be a Gardener or spend a day with a Farmer.
If you are sowing the seeds,
if you are watering the plants,
you will know how you must care for water, earth and the environment.
You will have a feeling for the environment.
You will value food and you will not waste food.
You know, what we do?
We bring so much food, and we put it in the fridge and, after a few days in the refrigerator, we throw the food.
We are wasting millions and millions of tons of food every day.
We should not waste food.
This we will learn if we spend one day being a farmer or a gardener.

3. You should spend a day in the mental hospital.
Whatever people talk in the mental hospital, you don’t mind.
If they scold you,
if they blame you,
if they curse you,
will you mind?
You don’t mind because you are aware that this person is mentally sick.
You know that many people are outside the hospital, but that does not mean they are mentally well.
So, in life, you come across people who blame you for nothing, who are jealous or angry, who say things that make no sense. Then, you know, you will have the patience to deal with them with a smile. You will not take the garbage inside and spoil your mind.
So one day if you spend in a mental hospital, you will know how to save your mind.
You will stop being a football of others’ opinions.

4. One day you must go to a prison. Maybe it is shocking to you.
You don’t have to do a wrong thing to go to a prison.
Just go visit a prison, spend a little time with the prisoners.
You will understand what compassion is.
What helplessness is.
Those people did a mistake without awareness.
So you will know how you must have a say on your emotions.

5. There are terminally ill people in the hospital.
One day with them, and you will realize how precious life is.
And you will start valuing health.
You will eat better,
you will exercise.
You will do all that is needed to be more vibrant in your life.

With these five days what would be the outcome? 

I guess from these five days you will become
More Vibrant,
More Alive,
More Loving,
Compassionate
and Active.

*********

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